Respectful Awe vs. Comfortable Familiarity

I had a second thought from 2 Samuel 6 I want to share. This is quite tricky because we need to have a balance. We cannot be so cavalier as to think God is there only for our benefit. And we cannot view God as so distant that He has nothing to do with us. In fact, He wants us to be completely satisfied by His entirety.

What do I mean? Let’s look at 2 Samuel 6:5 in the Complete Jewish Bible (CJB).

David and the whole house of Isra’el celebrated in the presence of ADONAI with all kinds of musical instruments made of cypress-wood, including lyres, lutes, tambourines, rattles and cymbals.

At first glance, what happened may seem like a good occurrence; however, the key to understanding what David and the rest of Israel did wrong is found in the Hebrew word translated “celebrate.” The word written in English is “sachaq.” It has the connotations of laughter, mocking, making merry, jesting, and joking all in a frivolous manner. This is not the attitude God desires of us when we approach Him or desire to worship Him.

How is this different than what David and the people did later? The second half of verse 12 says,

So David went and joyously brought the ark of God up from the house of ‘Oved-Edom into the City of David (CJB).

Isn’t celebrating the same as being joyous. After all later in the chapter we see David and the people dancing and playing the shofar (a kind of horn made from a ram’s horn). This time we look at the Hebrew word for “joyous.” It is “simchah” and means inner joy and gladness of heart. It’s not an outward or showy celebration that focuses on the happiness of the participants.

What this all means for me is that we need to be careful not to lower our standards of worship to a raucous party-like atmosphere. While dancing and singing and playing of instruments are not wrong in and of themselves, it’s the condition of our hearts that God is looking for. He wants us to approach Him with a sense of awe and wonder. He wants us to have inner joy and a deep gladness in our hearts. And, he does want us to come to Him with our problems, concerns and joys. It’s a balance between respectful awe and comfortable familiarity.

More Than a Resident Alien

We start looking at 2 Samuel today. At the end of 1 Samuel, Saul and Jonathan die. Saul had been the king of Israel (although God had revoked His blessings from him some time ago). In the first chapter of 2 Samuel, we have the account of David being told of Saul’s death. The man who told David was rather unscrupulous in a number of ways, but I’m just going to focus on one aspect of this man.

The man, when asked who he was, told David he was a “ger.” This Hebrew word is usually translated as “resident alien.” In the Complete Jewish Bible, he answers David’s question by saying, “I’m the son of a [resident] foreigner, an Amaleki” (verse 13). This is significant, even to New Testament believers. The concept of a resident alien explains a key New Testament passage to me in a whole new way.

A “resident alien” in David’s time was a person who lived and served a nation (Israel in this case) but was not a native born or a naturalized citizen. He retained his ethnic and national identity. This man was an Amalekite. He served as part of Saul’s army and had been living among the Israelites, but he did not identify himself as being an Israelite. You might think, “Well, of course, he wasn’t an Israelite! He was of another nationality.” Yet, there were many people born elsewhere, from different nationalities that were totally assimilated into the people of Israel. They took on the belief in the God of the Israelites. They followed all the laws of an Israelite. And they became an Israelite in every sense of the word. God had provided for such people and gave specific instructions in the law for how such people were to be treated (Deuteronomy 10:18-19).

The man who reported Saul’s death to David still identified himself as a Amalekite, a resident alien, a ger. The significance for us can be found in Ephesians 2:10-19:

                   For we are of God’s making, created in union with the Messiah Yeshua [Jesus] for a life of good actions already prepared by God for us to do. Therefore, remember your former state: you Gentiles by birth — called the Uncircumcised by those who, merely because of an operation on their flesh, are called the Circumcised — at that time had no Messiah. You were estranged from the national life of Isra’el. You were foreigners to the covenants embodying God’s promise. You were in this world without hope and without God.

                  But now, you who were once far off have been brought near through the shedding of the Messiah’s blood. For he himself is our shalom [peace] — he has made us both one and has broken down the m’chitzah [barrier] which divided us by destroying in his own body the enmity occasioned by the Torah, with its commands set forth in the form of ordinances. He did this in order to create in union with himself from the two groups a single new humanity and thus make shalom, and in order to reconcile to God both in a single body by being executed on a stake as a criminal and thus in himself killing that enmity.

                  Also, when he came, he announced as Good News shalom to you far off and shalom to those nearby (Isaiah 57:19), news that through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.

                  So then, you are no longer foreigners and strangers. On the contrary, you are fellow-citizens with God’s people and members of God’s family.

All that to say we are not like that Amalekite. We, as believers in Jesus, are fully assimilated into God’s family. We are not ger. And we should believe in the God of Israel in every way.

Honorable and Dishonorable

We like to think about David as this great man of God who is constantly seeking God’s will and doing exactly what God wanted him to do. We focus on the part where God says that David is a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22). What we forget is that David was a man like any other man. This means he was also sinful (Jesus being the only man who never sinned).

We tell the story of David and Goliath and how great David’s faith was (laying aside that he was seeking something for himself in the process). We tell the story of David conquering his tens of thousands (assuming it was all credited to God’s power). We tell the story of David choosing not to kill Saul because he was God’s anointed (but fail to realize that it was for his own protection he didn’t violate God’s laws).

In 1 Samuel 27, David does act honorably in some ways, but he also acts dishonorably in others. He is a man like every other man. Not all we do is good and not all we do is bad. David was honorable in that he took care of his family. In verse 3 we find David caring for his family and the families of his followers: “And David lived with Achish at Gath, he and his men, each with his household, even David with his two wives . . .” He did not leave them defenseless in Judah with Saul on the prowl. Also, David moved his people away from the capital city of the Philistines to Ziklag where there was a greater propensity for the worship of the God of Israel (Ziklag had once been a part of the land God designated as Judah but the Israelites failed to conquer it). It was close to the boundaries of Judah and there were many Israelites living and worshiping there.

However, David was also ruthless and deceptive. He carried out raids on areas belonging to the Philistines yet told Achish (the Philistine king) that his raids were in the Negrev of Judah. David accumulated much wealth and prosperity through conducting these raids. David knew that Achish would approve of raids on Judah’s territories and highly disapproves of raids on his own people. Also, David didn’t just take the belongings of the towns he raided. He ruthlessly “would attack the land, leaving alive neither men nor women, but taking the sheep, cattle, donkeys, camels and clothing” (verse 9). The reason he did this is clearly stated in verse 11:

The reason David spared neither men nor women to be brought to Gath is that he thought, ‘We don’t want them telling on us, saying, “David did so-and-so.”’

The key to this article is to highlight the fact that David was really not a better man than Saul (or us). However, there is a difference. It’s not David’s thorough goodness that separates him from Saul and others who are not approved by God; it’s his repentance before God. We also can be people approved by God by our repentance. That’s how we become honorable.

Accurately Handling the Word of God

Some thoughts from 1 Samuel 24. I know I’ve missed sharing from 1 Samuel for a few weeks, but I felt there were more important things to talk about at those times. Today I get back to my 1 Samuel study.

In chapter 24 we find the familiar story of David cutting off the edge of Saul’s robe while Saul was “relieving” himself in a cave David was currently hiding in. Perfect opportunity to end Saul’s reign was at hand. That’s exactly what David’s men told him to do. They even said it was God’s will by attempting to quote what God had told David.

1 Samuel 24:4 tells us what the men were thinking.

The men of David said to him, “Behold, this is the day of which the LORD said to you, ‘Behold; I am about to give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it seems good to you.’”

David’s men interpret that promise to David as a warrant/command for David to destroy Saul. It was a great opportunity; however, not every opportunity is from God. And, what David seemed to think was good in this situation was to cut off Saul’s hem but spare his life. Even doing that bothered David’s conscience because doing that was an assault on Saul’s dignity and position (verse 5). In verse 6, David explains to his men his remorse:

So he said to his men, “Far be it from me because of the LORD that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD’S anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, since he is the LORD’S anointed.”

David was not a typical man seeking to ascend to the throne. He was committed to letting God determine the path and would not take anything as serious as killing a reigning, anointed by God king into his own hands. That was the sign that this was a different kind of kingdom – not at all like the kingdoms around them where the standard was for eliminating kings to gain the throne or eliminating possible contenders for the throne. David’s kingdom (because it was God’s kingdom) would be much different – one that relied on the one true God to rule and determine the leadership.

Side notes done, let me tell you what my application is from the first part where David’s men purported to know that God told David to take advantage of this opportunity to kill Saul and begin his rule over Israel. It’s quite simple really. I need to be careful to handle the Word of God carefully – not stretching it’s meaning or diminishing it. We are told this same thing in 2 Timothy 2:15: “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” For me, that means studying the Word, consulting commentators about the Word, talking with my Bible study partner about the Word we are studying, and, most of all, praying about how the Word applies to my life (and then doing as I’m instructed).

What does “accurately handling the word of truth” mean for you?

Right Sized For Service

We have a photograph of our son when he was about two standing in his uncle’s very large work boots. He looked so proud of himself. He even tried to take a step. We all had a good-natured laugh, however, I wonder now about just what he was thinking. Was he trying to grow up fast? Was he showing us he’s a man? Was he trying to be funny?

Trying on other people’s belongings, behavior, or ministry may have that same effect – humor. In 1 Samuel 17:38-40 there’s the account of David preparing to do battle with Goliath, the Philistine. David was far smaller and younger than the 9-foot, 9-inch professional warrior Goliath, so to help prepare David, Saul gave him his battle garments to make David look fiercer. When David tried to walk decked out in Saul’s armor, he experienced great difficulty. Saul was a tall and strong man (the person the people saw fit to be their king; 1 Samuel 9:2). Saul’s armor probably hung lose and heavy on the smaller David. I picture it a comical sight, much like my son in his uncle’s boots.

“So, David said to Saul, ‘I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.’ And David took them off. He took his stick in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook . . . and his sling was in his hand . . .” (1 Samuel 17:39-40). David did not try to be someone he was not. David did not try to act like a mighty warrior. David did play the role God had given him: a shepherd boy going to battle with his sling and his faith in God. (A sling was not a toy. It was a very accurate weapon in the hands of the right people. In Judges 20:16 we are told, “Out of all these people 700 choice men were left-handed; each one could sling a stone at hair and not miss.” David had already used it to protect his sheep from bears and lions. It did not seem a match for Goliath, however it fit David’s skills, personality, and faith.

When I was a young Christian, I wanted to be the next Billy Graham bringing large numbers of people to Christ at one time. That was not the weapon or skill or gifting God gave me and it never happened. As I grew in my relationship with Christ, I began to realize that my gifts from God were for small groups or one-on-one relationships and out of those relationships “many [would] see and fear, And [would] trust in the Lord” (Psalm 40:3). Now “many” is a relative term. I haven’t brought new people into faith in Jesus Christ in the same way or to the same extent as Billy Graham, but there have been some seeds planted, some growth toward Christ, and a few blossoming plants. Failing to wear the right armor and do the right ministry as designed by God leads to despair and hopelessness. As long as I keep using the gifts and skills God has given me, I will not fail to succeed in the tasks God sets before me.

Rash Decisions

In the second part of 1 Samuel 14 we see Saul making more impulsive decisions which affect Israel’s success in battle, their relationship with God, and created long-term consequences. Before we criticize Saul too much, we need to reflect on our own decisions because we are much like Saul.

The first impetuous oath we see from Saul happens in verse 24. This was after Jonathan had success, with only his armor bearer with him, in attacking the Philistines and before Saul decided to join in the battle. The oath or vow was this: “Cursed be the man who eats food before evening, and until I have avenged myself on my enemies.” First, Saul was concerned about his success and reputation; he focused on himself avenging his enemies. Not God’s enemies, or Israel’s enemies, but he claimed the battle was his to win or lose. The long-term effect was that the warriors did not eat honey flowing from the ground when they came upon it and they were weary from the battle. This left them weakened and tired. What the army gained in time by not stopping to eat, they lost in strength and the victory was still not complete.

The second oath resulted from Jonathan, who had not made the oath because he was not present when Saul forced it upon his soldiers, eating the honey. When Saul thought to consult God, the priests were unable to get any answers, so Saul assumed someone had sinned or violated the oath to not eat. His oath this time, in verse 39, says, “For as the Lord lives, who delivers Israel, though it is in Jonathan my son, he shall surely die.” Was Saul really ready to forfeit his son over this? We find later that he was, whether out of maintaining his own pride or for some other reason, because Providence caused the lot to indicate the “sin” had fallen on Jonathan.

When Saul found out the “guilty” party was Jonathan (but not really since Jonathan had not been present for the oath and did not know he was not supposed to eat), he made another oath: “May God do this to me and more also, for you shall surely die, Jonathan” (verse 44). Basically, what Saul asked is that God punish himself with the same consequence as Jonathan’s if he didn’t follow through on the second oath. Well the people spoke up and said they refused to let Jonathan die because Jonathan obviously was doing God’s work and brought great deliverance to Israel during this battle with the Philistines. As a result, Saul did eventually lose his throne and his life; and Jonathan also never gained the throne, dying at the same time Saul did (Chapter 31).

Aren’t we also fragile, insecure and ego-driven as Saul was? Saul failed to glorify God and to put God first, trusting in Him for everything. Saul made his own decisions, acted rashly, and there were severe consequences for doing that. I know if I’m not careful I make impulsive and not well thought out decisions that affect my relationship with God and with other people. Sometimes those decisions lead to long-term consequences that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. So, I should not look too harshly upon Saul or other people who seem to be acting impulsively. I am just like them.

I Don't Want To Be Like Nebuchadnezzar, Part 2

Pride. That’s the issue that kept coming up in Daniel 4. Nebuchadnezzar’s pride and where it got him. Nebuchadnezzar states three times in Daniel 4 that he has made himself great.  He proclaims that his kingdom is all of his doing. He has proclaimed that his majesty is above all others. God has something to say about that. Chapter 4 records the lesson God gave Nebuchadnezzar to prove that God is supreme over creation and mankind.

Daniel 4:17 is included in Nebuchadnezzar’s retelling of the dream he had: “This sentence is by the decree of the angelic watchers, And the decision is a command of the holy ones, In order that the living may know That the Most High is ruler over the realm of mankind, And bestows it on whom He wishes, And sets over it the lowliest of men.” This is what the “angelic watcher” was telling the king, in the dream. For some reason, Nebuchadnezzar did not lay aside his pride to acknowledge this truth.

Daniel 4:25 gives us Daniel’s recounting of the dream as he’s giving the interpretation: “that you be driven away from mankind, and your dwelling place be with the beasts of the field, and you be given grass to eat like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven; and seven periods of time will pass over you, until you recognize that the Most High is ruler over the realm of mankind, and bestows it on whomever He wishes.” [Emphasis added] So, thus far the angelic watcher has told Nebuchadnezzar the fault in his thinking and the danger his pride is going to bring him, and Daniel in his interpretation of the dream tells Nebuchadnezzar that he needs to recognize the Most High as the ultimate ruler. Then God gives the king a year, exactly twelve months (vs. 29), to repent and change his thinking and attitude. But the king does not do it. If anything, he gets more prideful (vs. 30).

Finally, at the end of his seven-year illness/insanity Nebuchadnezzar finally gets it. Daniel 4:34-35 contains the following statements by the king:

. . . I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever;

For His dominion is an everlasting dominion,

And His kingdom endures from generation to generation.

And all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing,

But He does according to His will in the host of heaven

And among the inhabitants of earth;

And no one can ward off His hand

Or say to Him, “What has Thou done?”

Nebuchadnezzar’s attitude and perspective has changed. He now praises and honors the all powerful and sovereign God. It was a hard, seven-year, lesson but he finally got the message and chose to worship the one true Most High God. His pride was overcome.

I decided to memorize Proverb 16:18 as a reminder to myself to keep my perspective focused on the Most High God and not on my own accomplishments:

Pride goes before destruction,

And a haughty spirit before stumbling.

Hopefully, this will remind me to worship the One and Only Truly Sovereign God.

The Scale is Not God

Each day I get a short devotion in my email from an organization called FINDINGbalance. The balance they are specifically addressing surrounds issues of weight loss, food, body image, and mostly, God and His Word. I need that in my life for so many reasons.

I struggle with food – either eating too much or eating too little. I don’t have a healthy balance many days. However, focusing too much attention on the food issues is also not living a balanced life. I like the way the FINDINGbalance devotions always lead me back to focusing on my Creator God and His plans for me. His most basic plan is that I focus on Him each and every day, that He be taking up the most space in my head. Not my last meal or my next meal. Not how much exercise I did or plan to do.

Today’s Scripture for the devotion is 1 Corinthians 8:5-6: “For even if there are so-called gods whether in heaven or on earth, as indeed there are many gods, and many lords, yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things, and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.” [NASB] This passage of Scripture reminds me (and I do need reminding) that there is nothing else in this world that is the one true God. It reminds me that there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ. I tend to make certain things my gods and lords. I let them dictate how I will act and think. However, nothing should be doing that except the one and only true God. Everything I do should be dictated by His Scriptures. The Scriptures direct me to do many things, but not once does it say, “Feel bad about yourself and call yourself names because you are overweight.”

When I make the scale my god, I do feel bad about myself and call myself names. I choose to behave in ways that show I place more value in what the scale says about me than what God says about me. What God sa

ys about me is not determined by a number on a scale. He says He made me, that He formed “my inward parts” and weave[d] me in my mother’s womb.” God’s Word goes on to say, I’m “fearfully and wonderfully made” and that His works are “wonderful.” (Psalm 139:13, 14) He made me just as I am.

I’m not saying that I should just forget about trying to eat healthy and lose some weight. God also said we are His temple (1Corinthians 6:19) and therefore, I should do what I can to take care of His temple. I just need to live and think as though I’m serving God and not as though I’m serving the numbers on the scale. My attention should be on doing the things of God, which includes healthy eating, but not obsessing over my last or next meal. If I focus on living a healthy lifestyle, God will be pleased . . . and I might lose some weight in the process.

Forgiving Myself

In studying the book of Genesis with a friend, I’ve come to Genesis 45 and was struck by Joseph’s comment to his brothers in verse 5.

First, a little background on Joseph. Joseph was his father’s favorite son, but his older brothers didn’t appreciate the favoritism in any way. In fact, they decided to do away with Joseph. Instead of putting him to death, as was their first thought, they made a little money off of him and sold Joseph to traders going to Egypt. They thought that Joseph was gone for good. Joseph became a slave, but eventually rose in power in Egypt because he listened to God and could interpret dreams given to the ruler of Egypt. Joseph was a boy, then a man, who trusted that God was in control even if he couldn’t see what God was doing.

Fast forward 37 years. There was a famine in the whole land, Egypt and Canaan and surrounding areas. Joseph, in his position of power in Egypt, had implemented a master plan that provided for all of Egypt, and anyone else who came asking, all the grain and food they could need. Joseph’s brothers show up begging for grain for their families in Canaan. Joseph recognized them, but they did not recognize Joseph. So Joseph put them through several tests to see if they were still the vengeful and selfish men they were when they sold him into Egypt. Through these trials, Joseph sees that the brothers became fearful and remorseful of their sins. So eventually Joseph revealed himself to them. His brothers were understandably afraid and repentant before Joseph.

Now verse 5. Joseph says to his brothers, “And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.” [NASB] Joseph, who had every right to be angry with his brothers, was conciliatory towards them. He told them to not be afraid, to not grieve, to not be angry with themselves because God had worked in and through the situation. What the brothers meant for evil purposes, God used for His purposes in preserving Joseph’s family.

Why does this strike me? I identify with the fear and remorse of the brothers. Just as Joseph had benevolently forgiven his brothers for God’s sake, Jesus forgives me for my sins. Yet, I worry and agonize and replay my sins over and over again in my mind. Joseph’s brothers had trouble believing in Joseph’s forgiveness, too. Many years later, after their father’s death, the brothers are again worried that Joseph will repay them for their sin against him. Genesis 50:15 tells us this: “When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, ‘What if Joseph should bear a grudge against us and pay us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him!’”

They still did not believe Joseph had forgiven them and were worried and anxious that they would be punished. But, just as before, Joseph reassures them, “But Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? And as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.’” [Genesis 50:19, 20; NASB] Joseph had no intention of holding their sin against them. Jesus has no intention of holding my sins against me. So, I need to stop being critical and self-loathing and forgive myself. I need to recognize Jesus’ forgiveness and move on with my life.

Just for today, I can try and do that. We’ll see if I remember tomorrow.

Some Review in Isaiah

I’m reading through my old journals as I work on my second book. Back in late 2005 through early 2006, I was reading in Isaiah from the Amplified Bible for my Quiet Times. I’m amazed at how much I got out of Isaiah. There were many encouragements.

One encouragement was found in Isaiah 50:10. As I read that verse again, I recognized that sometimes my perspective on my struggles doesn’t match God’s perspective. I think when I’m struggling and everything seems like doom and gloom, I’m not seeing life the way God wants me to see life. Verse 10 says,

“Who is among you who [reverently] fears the Lord, who obeys the voice of His Servant, yet who walks in darkness and deep trouble and has no shining splendor [in his heart]? Let him rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord, and let him lean upon and be supported by his God.”

First, this verse says we may (probably will) have times of darkness and deep trouble and be without the shining splendor (joy) in our hearts. God recognizes that. He says that there are people (like myself) who may walk in darkness even while they fear the Lord. That may seem depressing to you and maybe you feel it lacks the hope you are looking for in your life. That’s how I often see things. I think if I’m not always joyful and uplifted then maybe I don’t really reverently fear God. If you have had your doubts in that area, be assured that you can be one of God’s chosen people and still suffer from trouble and suffer through darkness in your lives. This verse says so.

Second, let’s not miss the second part of this verse. It tells us that there’s a way to persevere through the suffering and hardships. We can rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord. We can lean upon and be supported by our God. That tells me where to go when everything else seems to have failed me (and maybe I should go here first). I can go to God. And when I do go to God, my perspective on my suffering changes. My situation may still be dark and full of trouble, but there’s ultimate hope that God will see me through. That support is not available anywhere else. Only God is truly reliable and knows how to support us.

Again, ultimately, He’s already given us everything we need for eternal life: Jesus Christ. That’s where our hope can come from. Even if my depression seems to be ruling in my life right now, I can look at things from that eternal perspective and know that this life is not the end. Better days are ahead.

God's Plans

It’s hard for me to believe that it’s only been a couple of weeks since I decided having emotions won’t hurt me. It seems like a long time ago that I had that realization. And today, I’m having trouble believing it. My therapist said there would be days like this. I was hoping she would be wrong.

Mostly what I’m feeling today is anxiety. This is caused, I believe, by a number of unknowns in my life. All I can do is wait to see what happens in several of these situations. That is an uncomfortable place to be. It means going about my day as best I can putting aside the worries and wonderings of things that won’t happen until a later date. I would much rather know and try to do something about things, but there’s just nothing I can do today to deal with the situations causing me anxiety.

One of the anxieties has to do with doing things outside my comfort zone. However, God addressed that issue in my Quiet Time this morning. I read in Joy Breaks (the book I’ve been using as a jumping off point for my meditation and exploration of the Word), “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” [Proverbs 16:9] So, what this says to me is that even if I could make plans, God ultimately causes things to go the way He wants them to.

A friend of mine is fond of saying, “Man plans, God laughs.” This verse reminds me of that. I don’t think God is laughing at us to make fun of our plans, but He’s probably thinking, “If they only knew the glorious plans I have for them.” His plans are so much better than what I could plan. My small plans could very easily be making God laugh as a parent laughs at the plans of a two year old. They might be grand plans, but the parent has a bigger picture in mind.

So today, I’m trusting that God’s plans, the course He has set for me, is so much grander than all my worries. Trusting God doesn’t necessarily take the fears of the unknowns away from me, but it does remind me that He is in control and that His plans are for my greatest good. My plans are very limited in scope whereas His plans are all encompassing. His plans takes care of every aspect of my life.

So for this moment (if not for the whole day), I can rest secure in His care and provision for every aspect of my life. Whew. The anxiety is a little less for the time being.

Other Changes

I’m still thinking about changes in my life in the last sixteen years. I said last week that before I wasn’t of much help to those around me. I was too busy trying to live and look good to other people. I thought I had to do and be all the right things in order to be accepted and loved. However, I had forgotten that, because of Jesus in my life, I am already accepted and loved by our heavenly Father. It’s His personality to love and have mercy on people. I had forgotten that. As a result, I was trying to please people, running myself ragged trying to be all things to all people. I appeared successful but inside I was crying and doubting and planning the next thing I needed to do in order to look good.

I still find myself falling into the thinking that says, “I have to do more” in order to look good to other people. That thinking leads me to believing that it’s me doing the good things, while in reality, it should be God working through me to do the good things. I am not saying we should stop striving to good things. I am saying that we need to be doing the good things because we are being obedient to God.

So, with the dawn of a new school year, I find myself thinking about what I could or should be doing with my time. In the past I taught school or substitute taught school. Those things filled up my days (but not necessarily my heart). I was doing them because I thought they looked good to other people. I do feel like something is missing in my life every fall without the teaching, but there are other ways to fill my time and still be useful to society.

So two weeks ago, I started volunteering at a Christian organization in my hometown. It’s called Christian Resources International (http://cribooks.org/) and they collect printed Christian materials from individuals, churches and publisher overruns and sort them. The purpose is to send these materials to people around the world that do not have access to these materials otherwise. What we take for granted – various study materials, Bibles, Christian novels, etc. – and throw out when we are no longer interested in using them, are highly valued in some countries around the world. (It’s amazing how many countries use English as one of their primary languages and can use our “discarded” materials.) I’m not doing any great theological or intellectual activity, but I’m contributing to getting God’s Word sent around the world. That’s a useful activity in my book. Where I can’t go, the materials I help sort can go and be used to bring other’s to Christ.

So, that’s a change in my life. I am being useful and helping to further God’s Word around the world. I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to do this type of volunteering while working as a teacher. I feel like I’m contributing to a bigger cause and it’s one of things I’ve scheduled into my week to provide structure and purpose.

Having a Passion

In a recent sermon at my church, the pastor started a new series with a message from Nehemiah 1 – 2. He entitled it: How to Change Your World in 52 Days. The key part of the message was looking at Nehemiah and seeing how he responded to the news that Jerusalem was a disgrace to the nation of Israel. The walls were in rubble and the gates had all been burned to nothing. Nehemiah could’ve respo nded like everyone else had for the last 200 years. They had the attitude that it’s a shame but someone else will have to do something about it because they did not have the knowledge, the strength, the whatever excuse they could make. But in reality they just didn’t have the passion for the mission to rebuild the wall.

However, when Nehemiah heard the news, he responded with weeping. He was distraught over the condition of Jerusalem, his “homeland’s” major city. Even though it was over a thousand miles away from where Nehemiah was in the Persian Empire, he had a deep response to the condition of God’s holy city. This passionate mourning about an issue (in this case, the state of Jerusalem’s walls) will be so burdensome that we will drop to the floor and weep. Everyone needs something to be passionate about, but we all need to be passionate about the things of God.

The second step Nehemiah took to changing his world was to go to his knees in prayer. He started praying while he was weeping and continued praying for several days. This may be where Nehemiah’s plan was formed and confirmed by God. I know I don’t give as much attention to prayer as I should. I rarely spend a day praying about a specific task, person, mission, or something else I might be passionate about. But Nehemiah spent several days kneeling in prayer. Is there something I should be that passionate about? I’m not sure at this point, but I’m praying about it.

The last point the pastor made was that Nehemiah did not just keep praying about the situation and hope someone else would step up to do something about it. He stood up and acted. So the third step to changing your world is to stand up and act. But we need a plan. For instance, Nehemiah’s plan was revealed in several places in these two chapters. He had a mission and he had some steps that needed to take place in order. First, he did his research and found out the name of the man in charge of the king’s forests. He also had to find out the names of the various rulers whose lands he would be traveling through. Remember, Nehemiah was a lowly cupbearer/butler. He would not have known these people in the course of normal living. He had to do research to get that kind of information.

The next action Nehemiah took was to present his plan to the Persian king as soon as he had opportunity. That came when the king asked him why he was so downcast and not his usual joyful self. God’s hand was definitely in this situation because normally anybody who appeared in the king’s presence who was not happy looking would be taken out of the king’s court and killed. But Nehemiah had earned the reputation for being exceptionally joyful, so much so that the king noticed when he was distraught. That’s something we have to remember as we make plans . . . God is controlling the ultimate outcomes. That’s sometimes hard for me to remember or believe as I don’t see answers to my prayers.

However, Nehemiah knew God’s hand and power was in the situation so he responded to the king’s question with a succinct explanation of what was on his heart. He started with complimenting the king and continued with a description of the situation: “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruin and its gates have been destroyed by fire.” [Nehemiah 2:3] The king, miraculously, responded by asking what did Nehemiah want from him. And Nehemiah laid out a well-thought out plan that included the king giving him support in numerous ways.

Later, after arriving in Jerusalem, Nehemiah continued to prayerfully make plans, step by step. First, he rested, then he went out at night and inspected the walls. He did this so he would know what the next steps would be and exactly how big this task was. After that, realizing he could not rebuild the wall by himself, he motivated and rallied the Israelites living in Jerusalem to join his cause. The rest of the book of Nehemiah lays out the obstacles and solutions Nehemiah faced in building the walls. But God’s hand was on the situation and, in accordance with Nehemiah’s passion, prayer, and planning, the wall was rebuilt.

So my first question and prayer today has been, “What is my passion?” I’m praying God would show me what should be my passion and help me take action on accomplishing something to address an issue I’m aware of that needs to have attention. What’s your passion and what action are you taking to address that issue?

Summer Time

So this week marks the beginning of summer break for my husband and one of my daughters (the other daughter has been on break since the end of April). Things change around the house when they are all here and not off at school bright and early in the morning. For one thing, nobody is getting up at 5:30 a.m. and are often in my way when I want to get around for the day (at about 7:00 a.m.). Also, with everyone sleeping in (sometimes to 8:00 a.m.) it makes it harder for me to get up in a timely manner.

It’s only been a few days and I feel totally off schedule. I almost forgot to write this blog article. It took me until 10:30 a.m. to start my morning routine. That could make me mad – at myself, at the other people in my way, at the situation. However, today I recognize that there were some divine appointments to be kept. Divine appointments are those things that come up in the day that weren’t planned by me, but are very important to deal with in a timely manner. For instance, one of the reasons I didn’t get started with my morning routine things (Quiet Time, Praise, Prayer, and writing my best friend) is because my 21 year old daughter was up early and we watched a little TV together and talked a little about our plans for the day. That’s important to do every once in a while. It was a divine appointment because in talking to my daughter, I gained ideas on things to pray for her in my daily prayer time. And watching TV was just a bonding time of sorts.

I feel out of sorts because it took me until 3:45 p.m. to send a note to my best friend – something that’s usually done well before 10:00 a.m. However, I was able to write about some situations and things that came up today, that she will pray about, which I wouldn’t have been able to share if I’d written earlier in the day. So all those interruptions to my day allowed me to share more deeply and from my heart with one of the people I know will be praying for my family and me. That only came about because of the divine appointments that came up earlier in the day. I could look at those appointments as interruptions to my day (which is what I tend to do), or I can acknowledge God’s divine appointments and trust that God will give me the moments necessary to do the other, ordinary important things in my days.

I don’t like being flexible and accepting of the “interruptions” in my day. I really struggle with this. However, if I remember that God has a plan for me and His plan is for my welfare and not for calamity, I can look at each day as an adventure. I’m going to try to do that as much as I can for the rest of the summer.

Affirmations

Well, it caught up with me. I’ve got a winter cold or virus of some type. Stuffed nose, cough, low-grade fever, aches and pains. So I don’t feel much like writing a long article.

However, I thought I might take a moment to write some affirmations about myself. Basically, I’m a good person. I’m loving. I’m caring. I’m giving of my time and energy. I’m generous in spirit. I’m able to take into account others’ feelings and emotions. I’m able to feel compassion and sympathy.

I love God. I try to do things the way He would have me do things. I value God’s Word and try to put it into practice in my daily life. I don’t give up easily. Sometimes that can be a bad thing because I dig my heels in and don’t give up any ground in an argument. Sometimes that is a very good thing because it has kept me alive and on this earth even when there were times when I didn’t want to continue to live with the sadness I am feeling.

I’ve been told I don’t get emotional. That’s not totally true. I just do it behind closed doors. I’m feeling emotional right now, as a matter of fact. Maybe it’s the virus or maybe it’s the circumstances. But, whatever the reason, I will feel something and try to deal with the emotions in a positive, life-affirming way.

More affirmations: I’m relatively intelligent and usually a good problem solver. I value education. I value a good book. I enjoy a good story. I try to continue my education through reading non-fiction. I try to understand other people’s points of view. I’m open to new ideas. I’m willing to try new things.

So in spite of how I feel today – depressed, emotional, sick, lonely, unhappy – I am a good and well-rounded person worthy of living another day on this planet. Thank you for indulging in my self-examination and letting me remind myself of my good qualities. I needed that.

How to Get Invited to God's Place: Psalm 15

Who gets invited to dinner with God? That is the question David asks and answers in Psalm 15. Verse 1 asks the questions: “God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list?” [The Message] Then David goes on to answer the question in the next four verses.

I looked at the answers and tried to honestly evaluate how I would measure up. It was a humbling experience. I looked at the answers in two versions of Scripture, The Message and the New American Standard Bible (NASB).

The first criteria is to “walk straight” or “walk with integrity.” The best I could say about my efforts in this area is that I try to walk with integrity. I don’t always do what I say I’m going to do so I can’t say I do this perfectly. I try to be true to my word and do what I say I’m going to do and I try not to say I’ll do something then not follow through on it. One example where I have failed is in promising God to memorize His Scripture. I am just not very good at following through on that commitment.

The next criteria for being invited to God’s house for dinner is “act right” or “work righteousness.” Again, the best I can say is I try. I’m so thankful for God’s mercy and forgiveness that we have in Jesus. Without it, I would never get invited to God’s place because I do fail to act right, mostly I fail to even think about what right acting would look like.

Next is to “tell the truth” or “speak truth.” I was able to honestly say that I do this most of the time. Again, I’m not perfect and I’m thankful for God’s forgiveness and for the opportunities to try to improve upon it. But for the most part I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I don’t spread lies about other people and I try to only speak that which is true. Sometimes I don’t know what the truth is. In those cases, I try not to speak at all.

Another criteria is “don’t hurt your friend” or “does not slander with the tongue.” I don’t think I do that. I try to look at the positives in people and I’m cautious about saying bad things about another person. Another aspect of this criteria is “not taking up a reproach.” I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds to me like it means not spreading a bad rumor (or even the bad truth) about another person. I have to be careful to not be involved in spreading gossip and rumors. I don’t do it often but I can be lulled into thinking I’m just sharing a prayer request but may be spreading a rumor.

In verse 3 it also mentions that we shouldn’t “blame a neighbor” or “do evil to a neighbor.” I like to think I take personal responsibility for things that happen in my life. I don’t place blame on others when I’m at fault. But I also need to be careful not to place blame on others when it’s not my fault. I should let God decide where the blame goes.

Verse 4 says, as another criteria, “despise the despicable” or “despise reprobate and honor those who fear God.” I’m at fault here. Sometimes I laugh at a dirty joke or go along with watching less than godly television shows and movies. That’s not despising the despicable. It’s condoning the despicable things. I need to evaluate where and when I do this and try to change my ways. After all, I’d rather be invited to God’s place than watch a questionable show.

Psalm 8

I am often amazed at the simple truths that come out of the mouths of children. However, David in this psalm tells us we shouldn’t be so surprised. In The Message verse 2 says,

“Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;

            toddlers shout the songs

That drown out enemy talk,

            and silence atheist babble.”

Even gurgling babes proclaim God’s name. The fact that babies were even conceived is testimony of God’s greatness. The fact they grow and develop into toddlers, then children, then teenagers, then adults is amazing. The whole process is a miracle that God put in place. It’s not some accident of nature or the primordial ooze. It’s part of God’s plan.

When I think about how people are formed and born and grow I am amazed that more people don’t get it. Babes proclaim God’s existence by their existence. What miracles they are. How wonderfully made they are. It amazes me that someone could look at babies and think they happened by chance. It’s too much of a miracle for chance in my book.

Psalm 8 goes on to tell us that we are part of the creation God has made, a very special part of the creation (verses 3 – 8):

“I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,

            your handmade sky-jewelry,

Moon and star mounted in their settings.

            Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,

Why do you bother with us?

            Why take a second look our way?

Yet we’ve so narrowly missed being gods . . .

You put us in charge of your handcrafted world . . .

Made us lords of sheep and cattle,

            Even animals out in the wild . . .”

God chose to make us be almost like gods. He created the heavens and the earth and everything in them, but He gave us the position of ruling over them. That amazes me, too. He put all things under our control. We have rule over the birds of the air and the fish of the sea. He takes a second look at us. He takes a third look at us. He watches over us constantly so we may, in turn, worship Him. That’s what He wants from us. So today, as I think about these things, and ponder the miracle of life, I praise Him and stand amazed that He looks at me at all.

I say with David verse 9:

“God, brilliant Lord,

            your name echoes around the world.”

Psalm 7

In my Quiet Time (daily reading from the Scriptures) from April 15^th, I discovered that David wrote this psalm primarily asking God to take care of him. He starts off this psalm praying, “God! God! I am running to you for dear life . . .” I often feel like I’m running to God for dear life, or at least for my sanity. I liked David’s request in verses 6 – 8:

“Stand up, God; pit your holy fury

            against my furious enemies.

Wake up, God. My accusers have packed

            the courtroom; it’s judgment time.

Take your place on the bench, reach for your gavel

            throw out the false charges against me.

I’m ready, confident in your verdict: ‘Innocent.’” [The Message]

I like the imagery of God sitting on the bench as judge and His knowing what the charges are and that He knows they are false. He knows what’s up with me. He knows I’m innocent of all the false charges, of all the Devil’s charges against me. He knows that I am innocent because I am in Christ and that means that I am innocent. I’ve been declared, “Innocent” by the Judge Himself because I have Jesus Christ as the center of my life.

I also liked verse 9, which in The Message says,

“Close the book on Evil, God,

            but publish your mandate for us.

You get us ready for life:

            you probe for our soft spots,

            you knock off our rough edges.”

It’s a comfort to know that He is preparing me for whatever is coming in this life. He’s getting me ready to deal with every situation that might come up. Not that I will always deal with things the way He wants me to. Unfortunately, I do not understand everything He wants me to do in every situation, yet. But, He’s in the process of showing me and teaching me what He wants. Sometimes I have to do things the wrong way before I realize what God’s way is. There are a lot of rough edges to be knocked off.

Some of the rough edges have to do with behaviors, but more often they have to do with my attitudes about things. I’m not always as loving and caring of others as He would have me be. Sometimes I’m just down right judgmental. Sometimes I’m just very anxious and fearful of certain situations. However, God shows me where I could have done things differently and, if I’m paying attention, next time I do things differently. My goal is to do things from a position of love and caring in spite of how I feel.

So I willingly ask God to probe my soft spots and knock off the rough edges. I ask Him to get me ready for life, for whatever may come. I ask Him to be my judge and pronounce me “Innocent” as I seek to change and become more like Him.

Psalm 5

I’ve been reading through the Psalms in The Message version of the Bible since early April. I’ve been encouraged by the perspectives of the various psalmists. I have found that while many of the psalms have similar themes, they are expressed in different ways depending on who wrote a particular psalm and what the circumstances were during the time when the Psalm was written.

Psalm 5 was written “For the director of music. For flutes. A psalm of David.” So when I read this psalm back in April, I tried to imagine flute music playing while I read it. That gave it a calming feel, and also a light and airy feel. That was in direct contrast to the content of the psalm that seemed to me to be about a very serious subject. Verses 1 – 3 say,

“Listen, God! Please, pay attention!

Can you make sense of these ramblings,

            my groans and cries?

            King-God, I need your help.

Every morning

            you’ll hear me at it again.

Every morning

            I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar

            and watch for fire to descend.”

David asked God if He could make sense of his ramblings, his groans, and his cries. I often wonder the same things, yet I know, as David also knew, that the things I pray about make total sense to God. In His omniscience, God does understand me. Even as I pray the same things over and over again, every morning, as David says he did, God understands and is listening to me. And like David, I lay out the pieces of my life before Him and wait and watch for God to take action. And He does take action. In verses 11 – 12 it says,

“But you’ll welcome us with open arms

            when we run for cover to you.

Let the party last all night!

            Stand guard over our celebration.

You are famous, God, for welcoming God-seekers,

            For decking us out in delight.”

He welcomes us and decks us out in delight. We just have to wait to see Him work. That encourages me to continue to seek Him every morning and to call out to Him with all my trials and struggles. He will answer and He will answer in a mighty way. He will answer in ways that give me cause to celebrate and to be decked out in delight. As I pray, I can expect such joyful and memorable answers to my prayers. And, no matter how upset I am when I pray, God hears and answers me, understanding exactly what I need to end up being delighted with my circumstances.

Love

Love is a very complicated word. There is an element of emotion in it but there is also an element of a decision, a choice, a commitment. I tend to think of love as a commitment to someone and therefore I try to keep emotion out of the picture. However, there is also a kind of love that comes from the same place my emotions come from. That kind of love involves passion and affection. And it is a positive emotion.

I can most easily identify and feel this kind of love when I think of my kids. I genuinely like my children. They are nice people and have many noteworthy talents. I feel a sense of pride in them for what they are becoming as people. When I think of my kids there’s a welling up within me that almost brings me to tears because I feel attached to them in many ways. They don’t always make the same decisions I would make, but I still love them for being them. I trust them to make the right decisions toward other people in the areas that really count. They are generally good people and are easy to love.

I also identify and feel a passionate and affectionate love for my husband. I did make a commitment to love him through thick and thin, but my love for him goes beyond the decision to love him. There’s that feeling of pride and trust that comes from knowing he’s a good person and loves me in return. There’s a fondness that comes out of our friendship with one another. The common interests we share and the common experiences we share provide the backdrop for the affection I feel towards him.

I have other friendships that lead me to loving those friends, too. Again, I think the shared experiences, the mutually uplifting conversations, and the shared interests lead to affection towards those other people. I feel love, besides having made the commitment to love.

I wouldn’t use love to describe how I feel about objects. For me, love, true love, is only towards other people. I might really, really like ice cream but I will not say I love ice cream. I might be fond of a certain book or movie, but I would not say I love either of those things. If I’m not able to make a decision to love something, to really commit to it, I’m unwilling to say I love it. For instance, I am not committed to a song. That would be strange to say, so I’m not going to say I love a song either.

To truly love something, to have the emotion of love, I need to be able to commit to it. But love is more than just a commitment. There is an emotional element to it that I don’t think I’ve quite pinned down yet. I will have to keep working on that.