Who is in Control

Looking out my office window, I wonder what’s going on “out there?” I’m not talking about the squirrels running all over the place or the birds flitting around the bird feeders. I’m talking about the whole wide world out there.

I do not understand the intricacies of the way the world works. I know I am not an eyewitness to all that is happening. But, things – miracles even – are happening. Everyday the sun comes up. The rain or the sunshine blesses us. And doctors and scientists discover new treatments, cures and preventatives. I have to remember that all this is happening under the influence of a Mighty God.

I was impressed by these thoughts as I read and studied 2 Kings 2, and looked back on the things Elijah, the prophet of God, was able to do because of God’s empowerment. In 1 Kings, I read that he withheld the rain and created a drought in the lands of the 10 northern tribes of Israel. Then God told him to end the drought and a deluge fell upon the area. Elijah challenged the false prophets by making a sacrifice for their gods to consume, which never happened. Then Elijah prepared his sacrifice for God including drenching it all with buckets and buckets and buckets of water. God consumed the soggy mess right down to the ground, which was dry at the end. God protected Israel, in spite of their lack of faithfulness, from invading armies. Now in 2 Kings, Elijah is able to confront an evil and angry king with God’s full protection. He divided the water of the Jordan River with his cloak (reminding me of the Red Sea being parted by Moses’ staff). And he trained up a successor, Elisha. And finally, Elijah was taken into the heavens on a wind being escorted by a blazing chariot, to be seen no more.

What does all that have to do with what I see (and don’t see) out my window? I need to sit in amazement at the wonderful things God has done, is doing, and will do. He’s a powerful God whose plans are not yet fulfilled on this earth or in the heavens. As Habakkuk encouraged the people during his time as prophet:

“Look among the nations! Observe!
Be astonished! Wonder!
Because I am doing something in your days—
You would not believe if you were told.” (Habakkuk 1:5)

So, I will look out my window expecting to see God’s handiwork, but I will also be looking for what God is doing on a much bigger scale. Just as He has always done, He is doing things we cannot imagine, and we should be amazed.

Opposite to Emotion Action

Last week I talked about how we need to continually be doing God’s commands in order to be walking with Him. I defined what it means to believe, that it involves action. In discussing 1 Kings 8 further with my Bible study partner this week, I saw some further insights into that. This past weekend my Bible study partner’s pastor talked about the difference between believing and faith. He used an illustration of a chair. Believing the chair will hold us is only the start. We have to actually, by faith, sit in the chair.

The pastor went onto explain that in the gospel of John, every time the word “faith” is used it is a verb, an action. It is not passive and just a thing (noun). Some kind of action is always required. In Hebrews 11 there is a long list of people who had faith, but every time the word faith is used, it is followed by the action the people took. For instance, verse 4 says, “By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain.” And in verse 8, “By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going.” The whole chapter is filled with faith being attributed to people who acted. It’s not enough to “believe;” we need to act in faith according to God’s commands.

Switching gears, let’s return to 1 Kings 8 and look at Solomon’s prayer to God at the dedication of the Temple. Starting in verse 27, Solomon prays many truths on behalf of the people of Israel; however, Solomon did not pretend to have God figured out. While man can choose to do opposites, God has no opposites. He is all knowing, and He cannot be unknowing. Basically, God is not within the scope of human understanding. The more we try to describe Him using characteristics we understand, the more we diminish Him. He is not bound by the characteristics of mere humans. In addition, we have no rights to ask the “Why?” question of God. We wouldn’t understand the answers even if He deemed us worthy to know them.

As I contemplated this, I realized just how human I am. I am a mixed up, muddled, bundle of opposites. I can be angry and at peace. I can want to live and want to die. I can be happy and sad. For everything in my character, there is a corresponding opposite. This is so unlike God, but realizing this is true, I have options for how I feel and think and behave.

As part of my recovery from mental illness, I’ve learned some skills for coping with emotions. These skills come from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapy model that addresses many of the thinking issues I have as a bipolar person. One of these skills is called Opposite to Emotion Action. This reinforces that I have choices to behave or think in an opposite way to my negative, frightening, grief-stricken ways. Of course, my feelings are still valid and give me good information about myself, but I can stay with those emotions for a little while, and then choose to act opposite to how I’m feeling. It’s not a permanent solution – because I am a person of opposites, but there’s relief for a time. Doing this allows me to feel productive and ultimately gives me hope that things will be better.

While God has no opposites, He understands my opposites. Believing in and acting in faith to follow His commands, is the best opposite I can do. That is one reason I praise God – recognizing that I don’t really understand all there is about God, but it points me in the right direction. What opposite action do we need to do today? And, how can I humbly, knowing I don’t really understand God, praise Him today?

Feeling Blue

We all have days like this. Disappointments. Frustrations. Everything is running late. Hopelessness. And more frustrations. That’s the kind of week I’ve had, so I’m having trouble determining something to say for my blog article.

To remind myself, and maybe giving you ideas, I’m going to compile a list of the ways I think and the activities I do to keep my balance during such days.

·      Praise God and recognize that His will shall be done.

·      Pray according to Philippians 4:6-7. Lay down my anxiety, present my requests to God, and enjoy His incomprehensible peace.

·      Contact a friend for a spiritual conversation that will remind me that God is in charge.

·      Dive into God’s Word. I do that in several ways. Daily devotion and Bible reading. Thorough Bible study of a book of the Bible. Memorize verses.

·      Choose to do activities with gusto that are the opposite of the way I feel.

·      Take care of myself with a nice cup of tea, listening to soothing music, or petting the cats.

·      Write, in my journal using a pen on paper. Write about the emotions, write about a recent event that brought joy, write an encouraging note to someone. Write.

·      Go for a walk.

·      Watch an entertaining movie or television show, preferably uplifting. Or watch silly cat videos online.

·      Practice relaxation techniques and/or deep breathing exercises.

·      Color pictures in a coloring book, or create pictures of my own.

·      Focus on one thing in the moment – maybe a task that needs to be done that I don’t feel like doing.

·      Read a book for fun.

·      Play a game; with someone else is the best, but on my phone is good too.

Wow! I had forgotten there are so many ways to live through disappointments. Many of them have lifted my mood at one time or another. And this evening, until bedtime, I’m going to watch some television with my family. I feel better just making that list and recognizing that there’s so many ways to handle anxiety. I just have to choose to do so.

Unnoticed Progress

I often forget about a short verse in one of the letters that Paul wrote, but this week I had cause in a couple of ways to remember it and be thankful. I will explain.

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Sometimes it’s very hard to see the changes in our lives that God is orchestrating. This last week as I’m editing and reviewing the first edition of my book, The Tootsie Roll Lady: a memoir of mental illness, alcoholism and faith, I discovered that God has been keeping true to this promise in my life. I also saw it happening in the life of our daughter. She woke up on Sunday morning to discover that her relatively new moped was stolen. I heard a calm, organized voice on the phone explaining to me how angry she was. She was ready to buy a baseball bat and begin searching Kalamazoo for her precious possession. However, she didn’t do that. She called the police and filed a report.

Her voice dripped with tears and anger sputtered out from the sides. But she was able to manage. A few years ago, an event like this would have quite possibly caused a complete meltdown.

As for me, I was fast approaching the meltdown and a relapse into some self-destructive behaviors. Hopeless. Useless. Powerless. Angry. Devasted. Overwhelming sadness. I desperately and impulsively swung my thoughts towards self-harm. It was intense. Like I haven’t felt in several years. I gripped onto the one sane thought I had, and frantically texted my therapist. She just calmly asked me what I should do if I used my “wise mind” (a DBT Therapy strategy). I turned my thoughts away from the emotions I was feeling for a time and turned to being available for my daughter.

I saw the effects of God-caused (and willing participation on both my daughter’s and my parts) growth. Neither of us reacted impulsively as we would have in the past. Neither of us shut down our emotions until they came out sideways in some unhealthy manner. Neither of us cowered down in darkness and pretended it didn’t happen. All changes.

I look forward to seeing how God continues to accomplish good work in our lives. And I’m so very thankful for the progress we’ve been able to make. He is perfecting us. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

By the way . . . the moped was recovered Monday morning!

Assimilation

Does the Old Testament matter? What are we supposed to be like as Christians? Are there things I have to do? Or things I should do? How do we know what a Christian is supposed to look like and act like?

I found a warning in 1 Samuel 31. It comes from a seemingly minor point in the story. My focus was not on Saul’s death, which is usually what I’ve seen focused on in this chapter. My focus was caught by a note by one of the commentators (Bradford) regarding the way Saul’s body was handled after his death. First, his body was abused by the Philistines (vs. 9 and 10). This is not the usual practice for conquered kings, who were generally treated with respect and presented to the conquering king.

Then the Israelites of Jabesh-gilead heard about the body of Saul being displayed on the walls of a prominent Philistine city. This city, Beth-shan, was important because it was on the main trade route. The Philistines were advertising that Israel was finished and conquered and so was their God. The people in Jabesh-gilead were indebted to Saul (it’s a long story found in Judges 19), so they went to rescue Saul’s body from Beth-shan.

When the warriors of Jabesh-gilead returned with Saul’s body they burned it and took the bones and buried them in Jabesh. The comment Bradford made referred to these acts of burial. He indicated that it was totally uncustomary for a Hebrew burial to be handled this way. He also concluded that it seemed to be the practice of the people of Jabesh-gilead (who were basically Hebrews). Where had this practice come from?

This is just another sign that Israel was losing touch with the true God and His commandments. They were slowly assimilating the practices of the pagan cultures around them (that God had originally instructed them to wipe off the face of the earth). It’s hard to tell from this one passage, but we’ve seen it elsewhere in 1 Samuel as well, that Israel was losing its distinctness among the nations. Slowly but surely over time, things that seemed okay became the way things were done.

I am in danger of doing the same thing! Over time, it’s become acceptable to do many of the things the culture around me says is okay. It’s become okay to believe some of the things the culture (including Christian culture!) around me, believe. I have to ask myself what am I – what are WE – allowing into our beliefs that are not exactly what the Scriptures teach?

Satan is distorting the basic truths of Scripture and we are incorporating them into our habits, beliefs, and practices. My friend, Kris, who spent 20 years in Indonesia, discovered many of these partial truths being celebrated in our American local churches when she returned to the States. She had been away from the American culture long enough that many of these partial truths/distortions were obvious to her. For instance, “God loves you, God accepts you” is a major tenant in American Christian-based churches. There are few questions asked about these statements. Yes, it’s Scriptural, but the gospel doesn’t end there. There’s the life example of Christ, His suffering, His death, His resurrection, and our decision to believe He rose from the grave and paid for our sins that makes us acceptable to God.

I talked today about another example with a friend, Cassie, and that is “I am enough.” God does love us for being us; however, we are NOT enough. Only God and His love is enough. And not everything I do or think or say is correct because it’s based on my thoughts, and “I am enough” to decide what is right and wrong. We succumb to the idea that it doesn’t matter what I do, God will forgive me because I’m enough.

We need to be careful we are not assimilating the perspectives and beliefs of the world around us into our worship of Christ. We need to be sure we are not short-changing what God has done for us and what He would like us to do for Him.

Just a caution. I’m guilty of this, too.

Adoration vs. Thanksgiving

At this time of year we hear a lot about being thankful. In AA November is “Gratitude Month.” We think about the things we are grateful for and give thanks. And giving thanks to God is appropriate this time of year. However, we are told to be thankful all year long and doing so can relieve anxiety all year long (Philippians 4:6, 7).

So giving thanks for all the things that God has given us or seen us through is commanded of us, but an often forgotten element of our worship of God is praise and adoration – not for what He’s done, but for Who He is. God deserves our praise and adoration even if He has never and will never do anything for us. His character traits and power deserve our praise. Just think of the work of creation. What power that took. How creative the Creator is. He is beautiful beyond our imaginations. He is supreme ruler over all the earth and the people in it. His glory and majesty greatly surpass a brilliant sunset or the heights of the mountains. We do not have the words to describe Who He is. Our attempts make Him pleased, but they are feeble compared to the reality of His personhood.

I try to practice praise and adoration every morning and throughout the day. Sometimes I forget that I’m doing it just because He is and not for what He’s done. In part, that’s because His character traits make it impossible for Him not to be involved in our lives. He’s merciful and exercises mercy toward us. His lovingkindness is everlasting as He moves in our lives. He is totally trustworthy and that means we can trust Him to keep His promises. He is a righteous judge so He will make wise decisions toward us. He will discipline us for falling short of His commandments, but in His mercy He will forgive us. I have to remember that even if He did not involve Himself in my life, He is worthy of praise. I have to remember that even if He kept Himself only in the heavens, He is worthy of my honor. I have to remember that even if He was only watching from heaven, He is worthy of my adoration.

However, the truth is He is involved, He is not isolated in heaven, and He is instrumental our lives. That is consistent with His character and is how He’s done things since the beginning of time.

Praise, adore, and worship Him this season of thanksgiving. Not for what He’s done, but for Who He is.

A Healthy Fear

What do you think of when you hear the word, “fear?” Fearful? Afraid? Scary? Doom? Terror? Panic? Dread? Dismay? Distress? Horror? You might think I’m talking about watching horror movies or observing Halloween, but the way I think about fear is completely different.

I’m thinking about a different kind of fear – a Biblical definition of fear. There may be an element of feeling I need to fear the judgment of God, but that is a very small part of what it means to “fear God.” I once felt a dictionary definition when it came to fearing God. I knew I was a bad person who was unable to be the perfect person I felt the religion of my childhood expected me to be. Fear was wrapped up in having “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid” (dictionary.com). Yes, that was it. I was afraid of God and the sure punishment He would exact from me and toward me. That left me feeling hopeless, shameful, and depressed. I just knew that I could never please God.

The definition of fear does not end there when you look at it from a Biblical perspective. Online I found this quote by Robert B. Strimple: “There is the convergence of awe, reverence, adoration, honor, worship, confidence, thankfulness, love, and yes, fear.” The article went on to say, “ . . . Some translations of the Bible, such as the New International Version, sometimes replace the work “fear” with “reverence.” Other translations use the word, “respect” instead of “fear.” A Biblical fear of God involves our recognition of His greatness. It involves recognizing His unique characteristics, such as omnipotence (all power), omnipresence (always present), and omniscience (all knowing). The Lord alone has these characteristics those (although some people may think they have these characteristics). God’s character is merciful and righteous at the same time whereas people sway between one and the other.

God’s characteristics create wonder in me. That wonder leads to the Biblical explanation of fear of Strimple’s definition above. I do have awe and reverence for God. I do adore Him and honor Him. I fall on my knees in worship and thankfulness. And, I have confidence in His love for me. That love that I cannot fully understand results from looking at God’s character and fearing Him. Each morning I pause and look at God’s character and fear Him. I worship Him. I give Him all the respect humanly possible for me to give. That’s a good place to start fearing God in the Biblical sense.

Anxiety and Trust

This week’s blog is going to deviate from the series on 1 Samuel. Due to a complicated life filled with trips to pick up and take back a daughter to college, a wedding shower, shopping and baking for the wedding shower, and dealing with a medical issue I did not have time to do my normal Bible study. It would’ve been on 1 Samuel 12, but that will have to wait until next week.

I am struggling with bucketfuls of anxiety these days. Due to my husband’s recent retirement, we have new medical insurance. I am very thankful we have a good retirement insurance plan, but it’s not great like the insurance we had before retirement. Thus there are some issues, which, at this point, are not being resolved in a favorable manner. I am working with my doctor to come up with alternate solutions, but it’s a slow process, and time is running out before things might turn into living in a hot frying pan.

Praise is my solution to my anxiety in this situation. Giving glory to God, recognizing Him for Who He is, has been a way to relieve the paralyzing fear and worry. This is what David faithfully did as shown in many of his Psalms. Those Psalms indicate David was worried, afraid, lonely, unsure, and facing trouble. David spoke to God about all these concerns even to the point of tears and suicidal depression. God wants us to bring all our concerns before Him; however, like David, He also wants us to look at the bigger picture remembering the obstacles God has overcome in the past and remembering His promises that He will do so again. We see that bigger picture when we praise God.

So in my attitude and posture, I bow before God and share all my struggles with Him (of course, He already knows all about what’s going on and is already working to see His plans come to fruition). I find myself acting and thinking like David. I just did it in the last sentence: I remember the truth about God and trust Him in each situation. I’m able to relax and find peace when I do it. Most often the peace does not last very long, sometimes only 10 minutes. The solution is to take notice again of God’s greatness and love by praising Him.

I am far from having this down pat. It is something I try to practice and I surround myself with people who remind me to stop, relax, praise God, and experience His peace. Someone is not always around; so then I rely on the Holy Spirit to nudge me in the direction of pausing and praising.

I will end these thoughts and stop and praise God, to gain peace in this moment. Maybe I will be able to concentrate for a time on some productive activity as a result of that peace.

God Alone

Continuing in my study of 1 Samuel this week, the behavior of the Philistines after “capturing” the ark of God from the Israelites was intriguing. The first thing they did was take the ark and place it at the feet of their stone God, Dagon, in Dagon’s temple in Ashdod. It was like a trophy to be displayed and a way to say, “Our god is better than your God.” They seemed to think that it was Dagon who had provided the victory over the Israelites and their God.

However, God had a different idea. The next morning when the Ashdodites arose early and went to Dagon’s temple, they found their god knocked over before the ark. They probably thought it was weird, but set Dagon back up. (As a side note, what kind of god is it that needs its followers to stand it up?) However, during the next night, God not only knocked Dagon down again, He went further. “And the head of Dagon and both the palms of his hands were cut off on the threshold” (Verse 4). Furthermore, God “ravaged them and smote them with tumors” (Verse 6).

The Philistines acknowledge that, “The ark of the God of Israel must not remain with us, for His hand is severed on us and on Dagon our god” (Verse 7). The surmised that God was acting, but they did not renounce Dagon as their God. They saw the power of God and decided to remove the ark from their midst by sending it to another of the Philistines’ cities. In that city, and the successive one as well, the people got ill with some dying and the others getting the same illness as those in Ashdod. So, the Philistines moved the ark again.

A key concept in the commentaries was that God is a jealous God. He will not tolerate other gods before Him, alongside Him, or anywhere near Him. One quote said, “God is not worshipped if He’s not worshipped alone.” Also, worship is more than a song sung in church. It’s about God Himself and our service to Him and Him alone. How do we see God working in and around us in our lives and yet, try to mingle worship of Him with worship of other things, ideas, people, etc.? That is a question each of us needs to answer for ourselves. We should not view it lightly.

Thoughts on Prayer

I’m actually writing this last week. This week I’m in Haiti serving God wherever and however He leads. In getting to this point, I’ve seen some miraculous answers to prayer. Many people have been praying for me, just to get me to Haiti. Those prayers have been answered.

Many people continue to pray for this mission trip. Maybe some of you have been praying since I initially wrote about this trip on November 23, 2017 (you can look that up by choosing the date from the list of blogs on the left side of this page). I thank you for those prayers. Please continue this week. (We are scheduled to be home on Saturday, January 27).

One of the things people have been praying for is the finances. I didn’t have much time to raise support and I was prepared to spend my “new computer savings money” to round out the balance. However, GOD came through in a big way. In about four weeks, people gave enough to cover my expenses and to provide extra towards materials and supplies for the various projects on which we will be working. I’m grateful to these people, but I’m also very grateful to God for working in people’s hearts to give, and give generously.

I’m expecting to talk more about the various God-sightings from this week in future blogs. Please pray we will see God at work and rejoice in Him. Please pray we will accomplish out goals (one of which is to build six roofs while we are there). Please pray for our safety as we travel and mingle with the people of Haiti (specifically in Les Cayes on the south side of the long, skinny peninsula, about four hours from Port-au-Prince by car). Please pray for the health of the team (six members including myself; five men and me!) Please pray we will be excellent witnesses for Christ and good representatives of what some Americans are like.

Thank you in advance for your prayers. A report will follow shortly.

                                            Les Cayes                     

Revisited from November 24, 2011 Post

Today I read Psalm 147 for my Quiet Time (personal devotion). I’ve been going through the Psalms using The Message to gain new understanding of the familiar passages. Many of the Psalms recap the great things God has done for David and the other writers of the Psalms. Then those Psalms call for the people to celebrate with thanksgiving and praise. Psalm 147 does that. It talks about rebuilding the wall and protecting His people. This could have been Nehemiah’s prayer:

“Hallelujah!!

It’s a good thing to sing praise to our God;

Praise is beautiful, praise is fitting.

God’s the one who rebuilds Jerusalem,

Who regathers Israel’s scattered exiles.

He heals the heartbroken

And bandages their wounds.

He counts the start

And assigns each a name.

Our Lord is great, with limitless strength;

We’ll never comprehend what he knows and does.

God puts the fallen on their feet again

And pushes the wicked into the ditch.

Sing to God a thanksgiving hymn

Play music on your instruments to God.

Who fills the sky with clouds,

Preparing rain for the earth.

Then turning the mountains green with grass,

Feeding both cattle and crows.

He’s not impressed with horsepower;

The size of our muscles means little to him.

Those who fear God get God’s attention

They can depend on his strength.

Jerusalem, worship God!

Zion, praise your God!

He made your city secure,

He blessed your children among you.

He keeps the peace at your borders,

He puts the best bread on your tables.

He launches his promises earthward –

How swift and sure they come!

He spreads snow like a white fleece,

He scatters frost like ashes,

He broadcasts hail like birdseed –

Who can survive his winter?

Then he gives the command and it all melts;

He breaths on winter – suddenly it’s spring!

He speaks the same way to Jacob,

Speaks words that work to Israel.

He never did this to the other nations,

They never heard such commands.

Hallelujah!”

Today, on Thanksgiving Day (and every day), I join this Psalmist, the other writers of the Psalms, Nehemiah, and all God’s people in thanking and praising God for the miracles He’s orchestrated in my life. What has He done in your life for which you need to give thanks? Take a few moments to do it today.

Let's Praise God

Daniel 4 is Nebuchadnezzar’s spiritual testimony. It’s a decree he had sent throughout his kingdom explaining what had happened to him over the last few years and how God changed his mind towards God and restored the kingdom to him after 7 years of insanity.

While this is a good chapter to see what a testimony could look like (for us this should include God’s demonstration of sovereignty in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ). It’s a good read and an interesting study. However, what impressed me the most is the way Nebuchadnezzar opened his decree. He praised God.

It has seemed good to me to declare the signs and wonders which the Most High God has done for me:

How great are His signs,

And how mighty are His wonders!

His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

And His dominion is from generation to generation. (Daniel 4:2-3)

This opening is something to be considered when we talk about what God has done for us. In order to do this God’s praises need to be on my mind as much as is humanly possible, thus my vow to God to praise Him everyday. Doing that keeps God’s power, love, righteousness and His other characteristics readily available in my heart and mind.

So, join me today in praising God. If I get “stuck” and can’t think of anything to say/write, I turn to the Psalms of David. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, David (or another psalmist) faced a similar trial and yet praised God. I often go to the following Psalms: Psalm 3, Psalm 8, Psalm 9, Psalm 29, Psalm 40, Psalm 136, and Psalm 145.

Choose one of those Psalms or a favorite of yours and pause right now to pray it back to God in a song of praise.

Daniel's Praise

I’ve mentioned before my praise vow. This week God keeps bringing to my mind and heart Daniel’s prayer of praise in Daniel 2:20-23. As I repeated Daniel’s prayer in my own times of praise, I’ve been comforted and encouraged to keep praising God.

Daniel praised this way (Daniel 2:20-23 NASB):

Daniel answered and said,

“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,

For wisdom and power belong to Him.

And it is He who changes the times and the epochs;

He removes kings and establishes kings;

He gives wisdom to wise men,

And knowledge to men of understanding.

It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;

He knows what is in the darkness,

And the light dwells with Him.

To Thee, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise,

For Thou hast given me wisdom and power;

Even now Thou hast made known to me what we requested of Thee,

            For Thou hast made known to us the king’s matter.

A commentary highlighted 15 reasons for praising God:

1.     Wisdom belongs to Him (Daniel 2:20).

2.     Power belongs to Him (Daniel 2:20).

3.     He changes the times (Daniel 2:21).

4.     He changes the seasons (Daniel 2:21).

5.     He removes kings (Daniel 2:21).

6.     He sets up kings (Daniel 2:21).

7.     He gives wisdom to the wise (Daniel 2:21).

8.     He gives knowledge to men who have understanding (Daniel 2:21).

9.     He reveals deep things (Daniel 2:21).

10.  He reveals secret things (Daniel 2:21).

11.  He knows what is in darkness (Daniel 2:22).

12. He dwells in light (Daniel 2:22; 1 Tim. 6:16).
13. He has given me wisdom (Daniel 2:23).
14. He has given me power (Daniel 2:23).
15. He has answered prayer by revealing to us the king's matter (Daniel 2:23).

I’m focusing on these reasons for praising God this week (and probably for the next several weeks as I attempt to memorize verses 20-23). I want to be like Daniel (resolved and confident in God). So I need to do as Daniel did.

Intimacy With God: Meeting a Need in My Life

Over the last 12 weeks or so, I’ve been sharing with you about the insights I’ve gotten from doing the Intimacy With God Bible study, by Cynthia Heald. I shared how my intimacy with God has grown and changed during this time (and hope continuing on from here). I can now say that my intellectual attachment to God has grown. That was always my strong suit before, and now it’s stronger. I rarely felt emotionally connected to God, but that has changed. As a result, I’m more able to see God at work in all areas of my life. I encourage everyone to develop both sides of their intimacy with God, and if you need help, invest your time and resources to studying Intimacy With God, by Cynthia Heald.

In writing my blog articles about intimacy with God, I mentioned several times how these concepts were helping me deal with the struggles in my life, as they were happening. What I didn’t tell you was what those struggles were about. I realize I’ve mentioned some of my various struggles in the past: mental illness, alcoholism, insulin-dependent diabetes, general fears, and various anxieties. However, since March, I’ve been dealing with something new: CANCER.

Follicular Lymphoma Grade IIIa, to be exact. I noticed a lump in/on my neck in late February and, after some urging from my therapist, I made an appointment to see my doctor. He thought it was “strange” also and referred me to a Ears, Nose, and Throat (ENT) specialist. After a couple of needle biopsies and a CT Scan (and lots of waiting in between each procedure), it was decided that in order to get an accurate diagnosis, some surgery was needed (on my left neck area where the lump was) to remove as much of the tissue as possible from which more biopsies could be done. That surgery happened on May 31^st. It took almost two weeks to get any results from that, but when all was said and done, it was cancer.

I was referred to Oncology (Cancer Center) and after waiting some more, and seeing a doctor there, more tests were ordered, after which there was more waiting. Those tests revealed that the cancer, as far as they could tell, was not systemic and, therefore, Stage One. The course of action would be radiation treatments. So I was referred to a Radiology Oncologist. After a few more procedures and tests and scans, a protocol was set up for my treatment and I began treatments on July 31^st. I went every weekday through September 6^th for about 10 minutes of treatment. I was able to schedule the treatments for early afternoon each day and kept my usual morning routines as much as possible.

Now that stage of my treatment is over. However, I’m finding I need even more intimacy with God to deal with the “surveillance” stage, where there’s more waiting to see if the cancer is gone, shrunk, whatever. There are more CT Scans in my future, but right now I’m just in a waiting and trusting mode. Trusting God has become easier since I’ve been getting to know Him better through greater intimacy. As I said in my last blog article, I’m continuing to do several important things for depending on God, in all His greatness, as I draw closer to Him.

Maybe that’s why He didn’t urge me to tell more people about this. He wanted me to trust Him and lean on Him. On Him alone. Not on the prayers of others. Not on the sympathy of others. Just on Him alone. I think He led my Bible study partner and me to this study just so I could enhance my walk with Him and grow closer to Him. I’m going to continue looking for examples of Jesus’ intimacy with us and I’m going to continue to work on deepening my intimacy with Him. I’m seeing it everywhere now. Like in Psalm 5:3, I will turn to Him each and every day and order my life around my trust in Him. That verse says (I quoted it last week, too):

In the morning, O Lord,

            Thou wilt hear my voice;

In the morning I will order my prayer to Thee

             and eagerly watch.

Yes! In the morning. But also throughout the day as I review and memorize Scripture, study His Word, and spend time devoted to praising Him. And, sharing as much of Him as is possible with those who need to know Him better.

What can you do to grow more intimate with God? That is my challenge to you today!