Unnoticed Progress

I often forget about a short verse in one of the letters that Paul wrote, but this week I had cause in a couple of ways to remember it and be thankful. I will explain.

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Sometimes it’s very hard to see the changes in our lives that God is orchestrating. This last week as I’m editing and reviewing the first edition of my book, The Tootsie Roll Lady: a memoir of mental illness, alcoholism and faith, I discovered that God has been keeping true to this promise in my life. I also saw it happening in the life of our daughter. She woke up on Sunday morning to discover that her relatively new moped was stolen. I heard a calm, organized voice on the phone explaining to me how angry she was. She was ready to buy a baseball bat and begin searching Kalamazoo for her precious possession. However, she didn’t do that. She called the police and filed a report.

Her voice dripped with tears and anger sputtered out from the sides. But she was able to manage. A few years ago, an event like this would have quite possibly caused a complete meltdown.

As for me, I was fast approaching the meltdown and a relapse into some self-destructive behaviors. Hopeless. Useless. Powerless. Angry. Devasted. Overwhelming sadness. I desperately and impulsively swung my thoughts towards self-harm. It was intense. Like I haven’t felt in several years. I gripped onto the one sane thought I had, and frantically texted my therapist. She just calmly asked me what I should do if I used my “wise mind” (a DBT Therapy strategy). I turned my thoughts away from the emotions I was feeling for a time and turned to being available for my daughter.

I saw the effects of God-caused (and willing participation on both my daughter’s and my parts) growth. Neither of us reacted impulsively as we would have in the past. Neither of us shut down our emotions until they came out sideways in some unhealthy manner. Neither of us cowered down in darkness and pretended it didn’t happen. All changes.

I look forward to seeing how God continues to accomplish good work in our lives. And I’m so very thankful for the progress we’ve been able to make. He is perfecting us. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

By the way . . . the moped was recovered Monday morning!