Love

Love is a very complicated word. There is an element of emotion in it but there is also an element of a decision, a choice, a commitment. I tend to think of love as a commitment to someone and therefore I try to keep emotion out of the picture. However, there is also a kind of love that comes from the same place my emotions come from. That kind of love involves passion and affection. And it is a positive emotion.

I can most easily identify and feel this kind of love when I think of my kids. I genuinely like my children. They are nice people and have many noteworthy talents. I feel a sense of pride in them for what they are becoming as people. When I think of my kids there’s a welling up within me that almost brings me to tears because I feel attached to them in many ways. They don’t always make the same decisions I would make, but I still love them for being them. I trust them to make the right decisions toward other people in the areas that really count. They are generally good people and are easy to love.

I also identify and feel a passionate and affectionate love for my husband. I did make a commitment to love him through thick and thin, but my love for him goes beyond the decision to love him. There’s that feeling of pride and trust that comes from knowing he’s a good person and loves me in return. There’s a fondness that comes out of our friendship with one another. The common interests we share and the common experiences we share provide the backdrop for the affection I feel towards him.

I have other friendships that lead me to loving those friends, too. Again, I think the shared experiences, the mutually uplifting conversations, and the shared interests lead to affection towards those other people. I feel love, besides having made the commitment to love.

I wouldn’t use love to describe how I feel about objects. For me, love, true love, is only towards other people. I might really, really like ice cream but I will not say I love ice cream. I might be fond of a certain book or movie, but I would not say I love either of those things. If I’m not able to make a decision to love something, to really commit to it, I’m unwilling to say I love it. For instance, I am not committed to a song. That would be strange to say, so I’m not going to say I love a song either.

To truly love something, to have the emotion of love, I need to be able to commit to it. But love is more than just a commitment. There is an emotional element to it that I don’t think I’ve quite pinned down yet. I will have to keep working on that.