Hopefulness

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The most basic definition of hopefulness I found identified it as happiness. I guess hopefulness is a sort of happiness but it means something different, too, something more. It equated it to cheer. That isn’t what I think of when I think of hope or being hopeful, so I looked up the word hope and came up with some other definitions that I like better.

The best definition or synonym for what I feel the emotion of hopefulness is was optimism. Optimism was defined as the state of having positive beliefs. I can accept that as what I think hope is all about. Of course, what those positive beliefs are based on determines the amount of hope a person can have. In my case, I base my hope on a Higher Power who is looking out for me and caring for me. Ultimately, knowing a God gives me hopefulness I wouldn’t otherwise be able to summon up in this world. This world is full of disappointment and troubles. Those things would drain away any chance for real hope in my life, except there’s the ultimate hope I can have because of my Higher Power, God. (To read more on this view of hope go to my blog article from 10/17/10.)

Can I experience hopefulness apart from the hope I get from God? I am afraid to say, “Yes.” I am afraid that anything I hope for will not come to pass. In many ways it’s like the emotion of excitement. I’m afraid that even a little bit of hope will only lead to disappointment. So, hope is not an emotion I allow myself to feel very often. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the results, I do experience hope sometimes. But, the fear of disappointment often overrides the hope and I’m left feeling fear more than hope. It’s very scary for me to allow for even a little bit of hope because the disappointment is so painful. I’d rather not look forward to a hoped-for outcome than be left without it occurring.

I realize that is a sad way to live. Maybe I should focus more on the other definitions of hope like having a longing or a dream in which to shoot. There are things I long for and possibly might potentially come to pass. And even if they don’t come to pass, the longing and dreaming are positive things in the meantime. For instance, I long to see my son this coming weekend. That may or may not happen depending on circumstances beyond my control. But the looking forward to it is a good emotion. It may only be fleeting in its duration but for a moment, I feel a sense of happiness. That moment of happiness allows me some relief from negative emotions I might be feeling. That relief is a good thing. So hopefulness can give me moments of relief and everyone needs a bit of relief now and then.