Dumpster Diving

This week for my blog, I’m going to talk about something God showed me in a Quiet Time about my mental health recovery. Please join me on this path before I get back to finishing up 1 Kings.

I read Philippians 3:4-9 and something stood out to me about Paul’s description of himself (vs. 4-7) and his conclusions in vs. 8-9. In the NLT verses 4-9 say

⁴ though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!⁵ I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. ⁶ I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.⁷ I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. ⁸ Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ ⁹ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

So in looking at verses 4-7, I evaluated my skills, concepts, tools, credentials, pride, and education that I relied on to handle my life. As I looked back, I saw that much of what I relied on, maybe all I relied on – coping mechanisms, education, certificates, diplomas – were either unhealthy or unhelpful as I try to live a productive life as Christ’s servant, or even as an healthy adult person. In many ways I’ve been able to develop new approaches to living that are helpful. But what have I done with the dysfunctional aspects of my life?

Verses 8-9 tell us what Paul did with all his credentials and thoughts that did not coincide with his new faith in Christ. Paul considered all his credentials, degrees, birthrights, and qualifications as garbage in light of the new revelation of Christ. Most garbage was useful for a time, but became useless over time. The usefulness of what Paul now considers junk, was in knowing the Scriptures and seeing how they lead to Christ. Obeying the Old Testament was the only measure they had for righteousness.

But Paul says in this passage that all of that is garbage to him because he now sees the fulfillment through Jesus Christ, and his righteousness is not based on the law but on faith. This reminded me of all those things (coping mechanisms) I held onto so tightly as a child and into my adulthood. They were useful, but as I grew and was no longer in the same situations or danger, they only confused what my adult behaviors should and could be. To me, they are worthless and useless (most of the time) as I’ve learned new coping strategies and matured in dealing with my emotions in adult ways. I never really thought of them as garbage before. However, in learning new ways, new ideas, and identifying feelings I’d long stuffed, they have become useless (and they were never all that helpful). As a result, I am closer to Christ and recognize that my “goodness,” “righteousness” is solely dependent on my faith in Christ. 

So as I was thinking about that more during the next few days, I felt ashamed because in a recent session with my therapist, I tried to cover myself in garbage when things got tough. Useless, worthless and obsolete coping behaviors don’t really match up with God’s plan or with my being an adult. I regret all the times when I hop into the trash bin and try to pull out the things that I have, for the most part, done away with. I picture myself, digging in the filth and rotten food, smearing myself in it, trying to regain what I thought I had lost. However, the rotten banana peel I’m rubbing myself in is no longer functional. I think that looking at the old coping skills as trash (obsolete, worn out, useless thoughts and behaviors) is a new perspective and may help me in the future to not fall into using them.

This imagery of dumpster diving is so vivid in my mind, that when I’m tempted to use the old, outdated, and worthless tools for coping with life, I think twice. I find that there are many things I rely on to navigate through life that need to be put in the trash so I can be more effective in this world for the sake of Christ.

·      What are you doing with the old creation (2 Corinthians 5:17) and its ways of doing things?

·      Are you also dumpster diving?

·      How can you change that to be more effective for Christ, and to live a productive life?

·      Is it time to let your faith be the primary coping mechanism in your life?

Inner Changes or Outward Appearances

“She arrived in Jerusalem accompanied by a very great retinue, including camels bearing spices and gold in great abundance, and precious stones” (1 Kings 10:2). This is, of course, talking about the Queen of Sheba (some theologians believe she should be identified as the Queen of Saba). She came to quiz Solomon with difficult questions. Her purpose was to verify that everything she was hearing about Solomon and Israel was true.

But there was more to it than mere curiosity. She was checking out whether Solomon was worthy of a trading alliance of some type. She was also trying to get an accurate idea of Israel’s God. What impressed her was Solomon’s wisdom AND his wealth (the palace he had built, the food at his table, the way he managed his officials, their clothing). She was indeed impressed. In verses 6-8, this is recorded:

She said to the king, “The report I heard in my own country about your achievements and your wisdom is true. But I did not believe these things until I came and saw with my own eyes. Indeed, not even half was told me; in wisdom and wealth you have far exceeded the report I heard. How happy your people must be! How happy your officials, who continually stand before you and hear your wisdom!

Following this, the Queen appears to recognize Israel’s God as the Lord God (Adonai). Verse 9 tells us she said, “Blessed be Adonai your God, who took pleasure in you to put you on the throne of Israel. Because of Adonai’s eternal love for Israel, he has made you king, to administer judgment and justice fairly.” The question is whether or not she truly believed in God. Remember what true belief is as explained in my November 21^st blog article. It involves action, changes in behavior. It’s not enough to recognize God as the supreme God. Believing means our whole lives change because of our understanding of God and His character.

What impressed the Queen? Wisdom, intellect, and wealth. She was basing her whole opinion of God on how wealthy and wise Solomon was. That was basing her belief in God on outward appearances. In her mind, Solomon and Israel were as affluent as they were because of their God. She evaluated the spiritual condition of Solomon and Israel on outward intellectualism and material wealth, not the deep down inner faith of true followers of God.

I see a warning for us. There are many who proclaim they are in tune with God and are, obviously, doing His will because of the material wealth and reputation they have. Are we mesmerized by a leader’s wealth or charisma? Do we believe everything they say because it looks like God has blessed them? That’s exactly what the Queen of Saba was doing. The caution goes further. Are we convincing ourselves that because we have knowledge of an all-powerful God, we are granted eternal life? The Queen of Saba returned to her land not having changed anything in her life. She was returning to worship the moon god. She was returning without applying any of the Law to her or her countrymen’s lives. There was no change in her life from the encounter, the experience.

I am concerned about many who have had an experience at a church service or some other moment of great emotion, but there are no changes in their life. They return to the same behaviors, the same ways of thinking, and the ways of the rest of the world. True salvation comes from believing and acting on the truths of Scripture, yet so many, after their “mountaintop” experience, never look deep into the Scriptures to learn what needs to be changed in their lives. My heart aches for those people, many of whom I notice may be attending my church and churches all around the world. Consider whether you have significantly changed your behaviors, your values, and your thoughts and pursue the God of the Scriptures that changes lives.

Believing?

So what do you think believing looks like? The Israelites generally had no clue. Many people in western culture say they believe in Jesus, but is that enough to be true believers?

In 1 Kings 8:1-30 we are reminded of what made David and Solomon true believers in the God of heaven. Solomon is praying as part of the newly completed Temple dedication in Jerusalem. Solomon prayed many important and applicable, even to modern men, truths about God. He was humble and asked God for help. He asked that God would confirm the words He spoke to David’s father. Near the end of this passage, God answers that prayer in a mighty way. Maybe I will talk about that next week.

Today I will look at verse 23:

and [Solomon] said, “Adonai, God of Isra’el, there is no God like you in heaven above or on earth below. You keep covenant with your servants and show them grace, provided they live in your presence with all their heart (CJB).

Did Israel carry out their end of the bargain? The chosen people of Israel became Jews in name or culture only. Throughout the rest of the Old Testament, we see Israel turning away from God’s presence and we see them changing their minds and souls about serving God. (In ancient times people believed the center of thought and consciousness came from the heart. It was not the center of love and emotions.) God’s mercy and grace are conditional. I’m not convinced, but one of the commentaries I looked at compared this message to the Jews with Paul’s message to the Roman believers in Romans 11:17-22:

¹⁷ But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, being a wild olive, were grafted in among them and became partaker with them of the rich root of the olive tree, ¹⁸ do not be arrogant toward the branches; but if you are arrogant, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you. ¹⁹ You will say then, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” ²⁰ Quite right, they were broken off for their unbelief, but you stand by your faith. Do not be conceited, but fear; ²¹ for if God did not spare the natural branches, He will not spare you, either. ²² Behold then the kindness and severity of God; to those who fell, severity, but to you, God’s kindness, if you continue in His kindness; otherwise you also will be cut off  (NASB).  

The symbolism, in case you didn’t get it (I didn’t at first), is that some of the original, natural branches (Jews) were broken off due to their unbelief, even though they were cultural and ethnically Jews. Paul identifies New Testament believers as grafted wild olive branches who, as long as they stay connected to the root, will be able to stand in their faith. Verse 20 and 21 is a warning to those who say they are believers in Christ: If the original people of God can be cut off, so the grafted people identifying with Christ may be severely cut off, too. Don’t miss the condition, just like in the Old Testament: if you continue in His kindness; otherwise you also will be cut off.

 

Just to be clear, the requirement is to believe in Christ, but this is not a casual belief. The word for believing is a word that means to act. My Bible study partner’s pastor is fond of saying, “Believing is acting like it’s true.” What does our Christianity look like? God will discipline those who are not obeying His commands as declared in the Holy Bible.

Some examples of not truly believing are listed below:

·    Obvious example from my Bible study partner’s time in Indonesia as a missionary: Saying God is all-powerful, but then going to the local witch doctor for help.

·    Saying only God knows the future, but then going to a fortune-teller or other medium.

·    More subtle: Saying God can and will help us, but then taking things into our own hands forcing situations.

·    For students: Praying God will help on a test, but then cheating on the test.

Some may say things like, “I’m not going to the medical doctor because God will heal me.” Or, “I’m not studying because God will help me.” Doing that is contrary to God’s command to do everything as for the Lord, like praying, seeking appropriate help, and doing the footwork (Colossians 3:23). Just being lazy saying God will take care of everything, is just that: lazy. And that’s the kind of cultural Christian we can become if we are not deeply grafted into the root of God.

Each His Own Grace

At the beginning of 1 Samuel 8 we have a description of Samuel’s family. Scripture doesn’t tell us Samuel was married but we can make an assumption that he was because he had children. We don’t know what Samuel did as a father. We don’t know what kind of teacher he was for his children. We don’t know anything about his wife. What we do know is found in verses 1-5:

And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice. Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah; and they said to him, “Behold, you have grown old, and your sons do not walk in your ways . . .”

For whatever reason, Samuel’s sons did not turn out well. Was it Samuel’s fault? Did he fail to learn from Eli and his sons? Did he try to do the right things, but the sons were still disobedient and dishonest? We just don’t know.

What we do know is that the children of a good man and servant of God had turned aside from God’s ways. We know that the sons were in a town quite a distance from Samuel. Possibly Samuel sent them there because it was in an area Samuel’s regular circuit didn’t take him to and the people there needed judges. Maybe the power and influence the sons had in that area inflated their egos so they thought they were above the laws.

I learned two important things from this passage. First, honor and prestige can change men’s minds and hearts – and not usually for the better. We need to watch out for that in our own lives especially if we achieve some measure of earthly prominence in society. Second, God extends His grace to individuals, not families (or churches). It’s up to each person to recognize God’s grace and choose service to God over worldly possessions and prestige. Samuel’s faith could not blanket his children. They each have to make the decision to follow God on their own. That’s still true for us today. Whether we did all the right things in raising our children or not, ultimately, it’s up to each child to make a decision to do what is right in God’s eyes. Parents can’t force it on their offspring, and parents can’t make the decision for each individual under their care.

So, whether I did everything right or not, it’s up to my children to come to depend on divine grace for themselves. I hope my instructions and example influenced them in their decision-making process. I did the best I could. Still, ultimately, it’s up to them to depend on God and gain salvation for themselves.

Oops!

So, I don’t know if you noticed, but I didn’t post an article last week. The time just got away from me and on Friday I realized I hadn’t done it. So, even though this week is equally as busy, I’m going to write something. Exactly what I do not know. We will see what develops.

I’ve begun a study in the books of 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel with my Bible study partner. We have covered chapters 1-4. One of the first things that stood out to me was a comment in the Reformation Study Bible on 1 Samuel 3:19. First, the verse says, “Thus Samuel grew and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fail.” The overall perspective of the books of Samuel leads us to understand that it is God’s presence with someone that makes the difference between success and failure.

The phrase “the Lord was with him” is used in several places throughout Scripture. Sometimes it’s used to say that God was with someone and the results were success. In other places, it includes the word, “not,” as in “the Lord was not with him.” The results were then failure. There are examples galore of men that were with the Lord and this phrase is applied to them. Many of the men are big names in the Bible and in history, and it starts right at the beginning with Abraham (Genesis 21:22). Other people it is said of include Jacob (Genesis 28:15), Joseph (Genesis 39:2), and David (1 Samuel 16:18; 18:12, 14, 28).

If we want success in our endeavors, we also must have the Lord with us. We know we have the Lord with us when we are seeking to do His revealed will. We find that revealed will in the Bible. I want it to be said of me, “the Lord was with her,” when my life is over. So as God reveals my thoughts and behaviors and how they agree with Scripture or not, I must act accordingly. However, the most important part in this process is having faith in Jesus Christ.

Standing Up For the Most High

There are several themes in Daniel 5 and 6, but one stood out to me. Daniel – like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego earlier (chapter 3) – was willing to lay everything on the line to be faithful to their God. The examples these faithful Jewish individuals are ones I know I need to pay attention to more than I do.

In Daniel 5, the great-grandson of Nebuchadnezzar is ruling over Babylon. He had not paid heed to the changes in Nebuchadnezzar’s life or to the Most High God that Nebuchadnezzar had come to believe in as a result of events in his life. Belshazzar was as prideful of his accomplishments as Nebuchadnezzar had been, even to the point of defiling the treasures taken from the temple in Jerusalem many years before. He held a big party for his highest-ranking officials. Out of his pride he proclaimed his Babylonian gods were greater than the God of Israel. To prove that, he called for vessels and challises of the temple in Jerusalem to be brought from the storehouse and be used to toast the Babylonian gods.

God had had enough! He sent Belshazzar a message written out by a disembodied hand. But no one there could understand the message. Eventually Daniel was brought in. Daniel was promised a high position in the kingdom if he told the king what the message meant. Daniel said he didn’t want the rewards, but he’d interpret the writing anyway. Daniel knew the message was not a good message for Belshazzar, but remained bold, as he trusted God to protect him from whatever danger might come his way from interpreting the dream. He proclaimed God’s message at the risk of personal injury or death.

In Daniel 6, Daniel is now in a high position in the kingdom of the man who had overthrown Belshazzar. This king’s name is Darius, of the Mede-Persian Empire. Daniel is now about 85 years old and risen to a high rank in Darius’ kingdom. Darius was convinced by some other leaders who wanted to see Daniel dead (how can this Jewish person be ranked over us Babylonians?) to make an injunction “that anyone who makes a petition to any god or man besides [Darius] for thirty days shall be cast into the lions’ den. [Daniel 6:7]” These conspirators knew Daniel’s practice of daily prayer to the God of Israel and were pretty confident he would not stop the practice. Their plot was all set.

Daniel was a man of God and everyone knew it. He did not hide his worship or his obedience to the commands of the God of Israel. It was well known, because Daniel was faithful. So, he was brought before Darius and Darius was angry that he’d been tricked and that Daniel, whom he respected and maybe even loved, had to be thrown into the lions’ den. Daniel’s witness to the One High God is shown in Darius’ comments to Daniel when Daniel is thrown into the den: “Your God whom you constantly serve will Himself deliver you. [6:16]” We all know the story: Daniel is unharmed in the den and brought out the next day. Darius makes a new decree in verses 26 and 27 that starts like this: “I make a decree that in all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel . . .” Daniel’s witness reached all the dominion.

So, these stories gave me pause to consider what people would say about my life. To have unbelievers see in me the same faithfulness the conspirators saw in Daniel could be frightening. Yet it is a compliment for those who truly desire to serve the One and Only Living God.

God Desires Us

God created us to be in fellowship with Him! That’s an amazing thought. He longs for us. He wants to be close to us. Sometimes I get caught up in having to obey Him, which He does want, and lose sight of the fact that He loves us immeasurably.

As I studied several Psalms this week, I saw just how much God desires us. Psalm 8 speaks to that in verses 3-6:

When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers,

The moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained;

What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him?

And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?

Yet Thou hast made him a little lower than God,

And dost crown him with glory and majesty!

Thou dost make him to rule over the works of Thy hands;

Thou hast put all things under his feet,

God considers man to be worthy of dominion over His kingdom here on earth. He could have given that responsibility to angels, cherubs, seraphim, or some other created being, but He didn’t. He gave it all to us. He esteemed us worthy. He wanted us to be in communion with Him in such a way that we would know what He would have us do to care for His creation. No one gives that much responsibility to someone He doesn’t love or trust. What I find amazing is that even though mankind has screwed up and allowed the destruction of the planet, He still gives us authority to manage His world. He has high hopes that mankind will eventually get it right – even if it’s not until the Millennial Kingdom when He comes back to make everything right.

Another Psalm passage that spoke to me was Psalm 27:4-10 which talks about how He protects us and hides us from our enemies because He desires to keep us close to Him. I especially like Psalm 27:8 and have memorized it. It tells me that one of the first commands he gave us was to “Seek His face.” That is a primary desire of His – that we seek to be in His presence. The verse says,

When Thou didst say, “Seek My face,” my heart said to Thee,

“Thy face, O Lord, I shall seek.”

He wants us in His presence! So much so, that He told us to seek Him and to be face-to-face with Him.

When I think about His desire for me to be with Him and communicate with Him I am overwhelmed by His love for me. Figuring out exactly how I can do what He asks and seek His face is a challenge, yet in studying the Psalms as I’m doing now, I feel closer to Him and I feel cherished and valued. It gives a new perspective to my place in the world. The God of all power and glory values me. That knowledge can give me peace like I’ve never felt before.

Shipwreck!! Acts 27

Luke, the writer of Acts, who accompanied Paul on many of his missionary journeys, writes an accurate account of sea travel of ancient times. He used many details and navigation terminology. The details could’ve been used as the ship’s log. And, it is proof that Luke was there on the voyage with Paul as was stated early in the chapter (verse 2). All the information given by Luke lends credibility to the story and the truth of the occurrences described in the text.

All that being said, the key for me in this chapter is Paul’s trust and reliance on God’s promises. Paul had the promise from God that he would preach before kings and that he would be preaching in Rome. That had not yet happened, so Paul was confident that in spite of the devastating storm they were caught up in, it would not kill them. Verses 21-26 is a record of Paul reporting a visit from an angel of God, while being tossed about on the ship in the raging storm. He is again promised to survive to go to Rome and preach to Caesar. Paul reports the angel’s words: “Do not be afraid, Paul; you must stand before Caesar; and behold, God has granted you all those who are sailing with you.” (vs. 24)

The storm did not abate; in fact, they were in greater danger of being shipwrecked. In fact, Paul says in verses 25-26, “Therefore, keep up your courage, men, for I believe God, that it will turn out exactly as I have been told. But we must run aground on a certain island.” This verse contains the key verse for me: “keep up your courage . . . for I believe God.” O to have the same unshakable confidence in God!

This so obviously relates to my life right now. No matter what the future holds for me, I can have courage and confidence in God’s promises in my life being kept by God. There are many other places and people in Scripture that tell us to have courage and be of good cheer, however, Paul’s example here, in the face of a deadly storm where even the seasoned sailors were preparing to die, shows me an example of someone doing that. I can do it, too. There’s no reason to be downcast or depressed. There’s God and I believe Him. No matter what the future holds, even if it should be death, I believe God will do what He has said. My eternal salvation is secure forever.

Sharing Our Stories: Acts 26

This chapter, 26, in Acts is a recounting of Paul making his defense before the Roman appointed Jewish king, Agrippa II. However, Paul was not required to give a defense before the king since he had already appealed to Caesar. He used this opportunity to lay out the plan of salvation to the king and the powerful people living in Caesarea.

I heard once that we should use every opportunity and every situation as a platform for the gospel. Paul does that here. He doesn’t really address the charges the Jews made against him. He shares his story of his life before (being a committed Jew persecuting Christians), his encounter with the living Jesus (on the road to Damascus), and the commission Christ gave him to preach to the Gentiles about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. That was his story and he used this opportunity to point to the wonderful, powerful, life-changing experience he had had with Jesus. The same experience of complete change each of us can have.

So, in view of some unsettling news from a doctor this week, I realized that I have not been diligent or faithful in boldly sharing my faith journey with the people in my life. I have not seen it as urgent. I put it off to a more opportune time. I rationalized that praying for those I come in contact with was enough. I haven’t been carrying God’s truths to those I love the way I should’ve always been doing.

I had that zeal once upon a time. When I first had my encounter with the saving power of Jesus Christ, I wanted to tell everyone – friends, foes, strangers, etc. Somewhere along the way I lost that zeal and got out of the practice of speaking out for Christ. I now feel a return of the urgency and the zeal, attitudes I should have had all along. I’ve had a wake-up call and it’s time to get busy finding out where other people are in their faith journeys, and sharing mine when the opportunity comes (every time the opportunity comes). I need to boldly speak for Christ and His salvation. I wish none to perish without my giving them the chance to choose a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Where are you in your faith journey? Do you have one? Have you had an encounter with the Savior, Jesus Christ? Do you believe in His resurrection? Do you believe He is in ultimate control? If you have questions about any of these things, contact me and I will try to meet you where you are at and share what Christ has done for me. Don’t wait. You are not guaranteed a tomorrow.

Post Surgery Thoughts

So, I’ve had both surgeries now and can see better without any glasses. The surgeries were uneventful and routine according to the doctor. However, they were not routine for me and, since I’ll never need the surgeries again, will never become routine for me. I’m glad that the doctor did not have any problems or complications to deal with. I’m glad I did not move or wiggle at the wrong moments. I’m glad that I’m now on the road to recovery and am able to see, with the help of reading glasses, enough to get back on the computer and write.

However, I’m not totally without disappointment. At the one-day-post-op appointment the doctor gave me some news – bad news to me. I will need glasses once the adjustment period for my eyes is up. The lenses they put in my eyes did not totally correct the distance vision so I will need glasses, just as I was getting used to looking at my face without glasses on. This is disappointing to me. It will probably be back to the bifocal thing since I can’t read without any glasses on.

Again, there’s a “however.” However, God was ultimately in charge. This is the way He worked out the details. I need to accept that this is God’s will for my life (and my vision). It calls into question my willingness to believe that God is in control. Am I totally convinced about God’s omniscience, omnipotence, love, mercy, grace, etc. Or do I just profess a faith that is surface deep and not part of my inner being. I think at times like this – when believing with my head is so difficult because things didn’t turn out the way I planned – I have to rely upon my heart. What does my heart really believe?

When I ask that question, I’m brought back to the time in my life when I did not know Jesus in a personal way. Life was so much worse and I had so little to hope in. Over time the joy of first meeting Christ has waned and surged many times. Right now I’m in a waning stage, but if challenged, I still know and believe the Truth. My hope and faith will surge again sometime. History has proved that.

So even without the perfect, as I see perfect, outcome to my surgeries, deep in my inner being, I recognize that this is somehow God’s perfect outcome. I wait expectantly for God to reveal to me why this was His perfect will.

Focus

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what the person of God should focus their attention on. Partially that comes from studying 1 Timothy. Paul gives Timothy several things to focus on and several things Timothy should not focus on. This led me to think about my own life and I’ve been trying to evaluate myself based on these things. Basically, am I living the life a woman of God should be living.

There are several lists of characteristics in the book of 1 Timothy but today what stands out to me is found in chapter 6, verses 11-12. In the Phillips version of the New Testament it says,

“But you, the man of God, keep clear of such things. Set your heart not on riches, but on goodness, Christ-likeness, faith, love, patience and humility. Fight the worthwhile battle of the faith, keep your grip on that life eternal to which you have been called, and to which you boldly professed your loyalty before many witnesses.”

So I evaluate my life . . . do I set my heart on riches? Is money and material possessions the focus of my energy and efforts? Generally not. However this passage goes on to tell us what we should be focusing on: goodness, Christ-likeness, faith, love, patience and humility. So I ask myself, are those the things I focus on? I have to admit that I’m not sure what my focus is on these days, but I don’t think it’s on those things as much as it should be. I am finding it hard to focus on anything in reality. But those are good characteristics to have. I want to be good. I want to be Christ-like. I want to have faith. I want to be characterized by love. I want to have patience toward the people in my life. And I know I should be humble.

I need to keep those qualities in front of me on a daily basis and “set my heart” on them. I don’t know exactly how to do that these days. So I pray that God would show me what goodness is and what Christ-likeness looks like. I pray for faith and love and patience. I pray that God will help me be humble toward Him and others. I feel like there is something more I should be doing in order to develop those characteristics in my life, but for now, the best I can do is pray for the ability to keep those things before me and do what God would have me do regarding each of those areas.

December Thoughts

It’s already the first week in December 2014. It doesn’t seem like the year is almost over, but it is. There have been a lot of things that have gone on in our lives in the last year. Some of the events have been causes for joy and some have brought heartache. But every year, as December begins, I remember back to other Decembers and think about significant events that happened in several of them.

In December 1963, my baby sister was born. I was almost four years old and I don’t remember anything about that event. Yet it is significant because my sister and I have grown close over the last few years. I treasure having her in my life and wish we lived closer together so I could go see her more often. We talk weekly and over the last year, we’ve been communicating regularly using Facebook messaging. There’s nothing like having a sister on your side through thick and thin. She’s been a great prayer-warrior for my family. That has great value to me as sometimes I just don’t know what to pray for. She always seems to have a perspective that I am unable to see.

In December 1978, I met Jesus for the first time face to face and became a believer in His salvation. When I think of that event, I think of the people God placed in my life to help me meet Him and make a decision. Some of the people I only recall by the role they played in my life, like the woman on my dorm floor who sent slips of paper with Scripture written on them as part of her Secret Santa gift to me. Others, I remember by name for the roles they played were significant in big ways. Jill (Spalding) Slater was the person God used to actually share the gospel message with me that December resulting in my turning to God in faith. And there were people who were praying for me: Diana (Keim) Schultz, Jean (Hayes) LaPlante, Mark and Mary Bonham, to name a few. It seems like such a long time ago, but those people are still very dear to me.

In December 1989, my son was born. He was actually born on December 13^th, which is the same day of the month that I accepted Christ on in 1978. He was born two weeks early and at the time I didn’t link together the two “birth” days, but I have thought about it many times since then. My son will be 25 this year. Where has the time gone? I cherish every day I’ve had with him over the years and still cherish the time we get with him now. He lives in Chicago now so we don’t see him much but we do talk on the telephone – sometimes it seems like it’s daily. I guess our relationship is changing from parent and child to friends. That’s a good thing . . . and it reminds me to hurry up and get his birthday present in the mail.

In December 1997, one of our daughters was born. She wasn’t born to me and I wouldn’t meet her for another 15 years when she would come to live with us. We didn’t know her when she was born, but we get to celebrate her birthday with her now in December. Our lives would be so very different, and less somehow, had she not come into our lives. There are challenges, but there are also moments of joy. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her as part of it.

So December is a special time of year for me. There are memories from past events and events happening now that will become the memories of the future. December is worth celebrating for oh so many reasons . . . more next week.

Thanksgiving and Praise

From 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers; Day #28: “I exult in the free, confident access You have provided, so that I can come into Your Presence for warm fellowship, for refreshment, for mercy when I’ve failed, for grace when I’m in need. What a joy to know that I can draw near to You at any moment, wherever I may be . . . that I can come boldly to Your throne of grace, assured of Your glad welcome – not because I’m worthy or because I’ve served You, but because You’re a God of grace, a God of unmerited, unlimited favor – not little dribbles of favor reluctantly measured out, but overflowing, super-abundant favor. I’m so glad that You welcome me just as I am, simply because Jesus is my risen Savior, and I am alive with His life and righteous with His righteousness!”

Today, that grace and mercy from God is what I’m most thankful for. Without it I would be living in fear and guilt, unable to rise up and be glad in my circumstances. I don’t always believe I’m totally forgiven and free from the guilt of my sin, but Scripture tells me I am – just because of what Jesus did and because He’s my Savior.

I’m without fear of eternity and that only comes from having a relationship with God. But, my faith wavers and sometimes I have to rely on sources outside of my own thinking to regain a sense of being totally forgiven and loved. Sometimes I turn to various books, like the 31 Days of Praise quoted from above, to help me focus on the truths of my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I rely on friends to remind me. Sometimes it’s my therapist that says the words I need to hear to put me in the right mindset to have the faith I need to turn to God.

On this day, Thanksgiving 2014, I could focus on the many blessings in my life, but I’m choosing to focus on the ultimate reasons for thankfulness: Salvation, grace, and mercy because of Jesus. My you find the same thankfulness in your lives this holiday season.

A Thankful Heart

I’ve been reading through the Psalms in my devotion time. I’m not very far into them yet but I’ve been impacted by David’s large amount of thankfulness for all that God has done for him. Reading from The Message version of the Bible has shed some different perspective on some of the familiar Psalms. The simpler language and the direct statements speak directly to my heart. I’m gaining a sense of thankfulness for the abundance God has provided for me.

In Psalm 9, verses 1 – 2 say,

“I’m thanking You, God, from a full heart,

            I’m writing the book on Your wonders.

I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy;

            I’m singing Your song, High God.”

I like the picture of David whistling and jumping for joy over what God has done. I wish I could say that when people look at me they see someone who is jumping for joy. I’m not sure that is always the case. However, I’m working on it. I’m working on focusing on having a full heart, a full heart of joy at the wonders God is doing in my life.

As I was thinking about these wonders today, I tried to think about the things I have in my life due to God’s abundant provision for me. The list was longer than I expected including things like a loving husband, a vital and growing church, my health, my relative stability in my mental illness, healthy and happy children, a solid roof over my head, three square meals a day, and so much more. Then there were the spiritual gifts like the time and ability to read Scripture daily, the knowledge and desire to do Bible Study, plenty of time to pray, and the ability to live my life differently today than yesterday should I choose.

I have much to jump for joy over. What do you have to be thankful for and to whistle about, laugh about, sing about and be jumping for joy over? Join me in focusing on the good things we have from God and rejoice with me over them.

First Priority: Remember and Celebrate Our Redemption

Last week at my mom’s funeral, the priest talked a lot about passing over into a new life with Christ. It just so happens that I believe that is what happened with my mom on January 11^th, when she left this world and passed over into the next. I agreed with the priest’s assessment that Mom is now with Jesus in heaven and enjoying all the pleasure of her passing over.

It also so happens that today I started a study on the Biblical Feast of Passover that Israel celebrates once a year. I was taken by the fact that when God started Passover as a feast or holiday for the Israelites that He made the month it occurs in the first month of the Jewish calendar. A priority month. A month to start the whole year off with a bang. A month to remember and celebrate God’s delivering Israel out of the slavery of Egypt and the beginnings of bringing them into the Promised Land. He wanted to make sure that the Israelites remembered where they came from and how God miraculously brought them out from the pain and suffering they were enduring.

As a Christian, remembering my personal Passover is just as important. It is a chance to remember and celebrate the gift God gave me in His provision of a Savior who would mark for the world and for eternity that I am one of His, marked by the blood of Jesus, the New Testament lamb, to be spared the wrath of God. Like the Old Testament Israelites, who were marked by the sacrificial and celebratory lambs they killed and roasted on Passover night, the lamb’s blood on their doorposts marked them as children of God. And God’s wrath passed over their doors and homes as He went about killing the firstborn of the Egyptians because they would not acknowledge God or God’s special people.

Fortunately today, and since Jesus died on the cross to accomplish the New Testament Passover, we can all be God’s special people. But, it does involve making Him a priority in our lives. It does involve living life, each day and not just once a year in a special month, as people set apart for Him. I think of my mom when I think of such people. She was not perfect. She, like all of us, had her little quirks, but she loved Jesus and looked so forward to going home to Him at the end of her life. She often said to me that the life she had left to live she wanted to live in such a way that she would be able to direct people to Jesus. She wanted us all to experience the ultimate Passover and for it to be a priority in our lives. I hope I can do that each and every day as my mom strived to do.

Suffering

I was challenged to investigate the role of suffering in a Christian’s life. I thought it was something to be avoided at all costs. I thought it didn’t jive with a productive, faith-based lifestyle. I thought that suffering is something that went away once Christ was part of a person’s life.

I was wrong. Suffering is an expected and worthy occurrence in a Christian’s life. How can it not be? If we are truly trying to be like Christ, suffering is mandatory. Sounds pretty dismal, doesn’t it? I could easily get wrapped up in hopelessness when I think that my life will include suffering. But, that would be missing the point of Christ-like suffering. We were never promised that we wouldn’t suffer but our current suffering is just a moment in time, a breath, compared to the expected joyful glory to come.

In Romans 8, the apostle Paul tells us that we suffer as Christ suffered so we may also be glorified with Him. The passage goes on to describe suffering using the analogy of childbirth. Childbirth is painful. But it only lasts a short time in comparison to the amount of time we have with the children the pain brings forth. The pain actually helps us expect the joy that is coming. So a few hours of pain brings forth hundreds of thousands of hours of joy. (I calculated it out to over 700,000 hours; 24 hours in a day x 365 days x 80 years = 700,800 hours in a life.) That comes out to childbirth pains (assuming labor takes 10 hours) being only .014% of the time we are dealing with our children. And, in spite of the pain I know I experienced, I don’t really remember it after 18 years.

Another verse in Romans 8 said that our current suffering is not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to come. It’s not a 1 to 1 ration. We don’t just get 1 cup of glory for 1 cup of suffering. The ratio is incomparable. It’s like 1 cup of suffering to infinity cups of glory. Immeasurable. Incomparable. Incomprehensible.

So it’s not that suffering doesn’t exist. It’s just not as important as we make it out to be in the overall scheme of things. It lasts only a brief time. It hurts only a little bit. And, the glory that will come to us is well worth the suffering and the wait.

Immovable Faith

Tuesday’s reading for 40 Days in the Word was Mark 5:21 - 43. It contained two stories. One was about Jairus's daughter being ill (then dead), and the other about the hemorrhaging woman touching Jesus' robe.

Jairus, even after being told to stop bothering Jesus because his daughter had died, believed Jesus could and would act. He trusted Jesus while everyone around him was saying it was too late. Neither the crowd, nor those he was personally acquainted with, nor relatives could sway Jairus’ confidence in Jesus. He listened when Jesus said, "Trust Me."

The hemorrhaging woman sneaks up behind Jesus desiring to touch His robe. She's praying and thinking that all it will take is to just touch His robe. There were lots of people touching His robe, jostling, pushing, reaching out to Jesus, but none of them were healed. But, this woman! Healed instantly and Jesus knew it had happened ("Jesus felt energy discharging from Him . . ." vs. 30). But He wasn't cross or upset or ready to shame anyone. He wanted to verbally bless the one He had just healed. He wanted to recognize her for her faith. She stepped forward when He asked in spite of her fear and shame. She did not let her disbelief (or the disbelief of all those "touching" Jesus and not getting healed) sway her from acknowledging her faith.

Both these people experienced God's power through Jesus when disbelief was all around them. They had faith that was steadfast, immovable. Not like mine full of doubt and despair. I don't trust Jesus to heal. I don't believe He will – He hasn't yet, right? But I haven't approached it from the place of steadfast faith and trust either.

At the end of every 40 Days in the Word assignment there’s a section to write out a prayer based on the lessons learned and the application made. My prayer centered on getting beyond my self-reliance and self-trust – but I do not feel anymore ready to trust than before. A huge amount of repentance is in order but I don't have that either. Taking things into my own hands is still my chosen, automatic course, even while I know it is stupid to think doing the same thing over again, expecting different results, will solve anything.