A Life of Deepening Intimacy

This week I finished the Bible study book on the topic of intimacy with God. It took all summer (12 weeks) to get to this point. However, I do not want my interest and commitment to intimacy with God to wane. I want to maintain a renewed deeper intimacy with God that this study has given me, and I want to go even deeper in feeling, knowing, and studying God’s presence in my life.

There are a few ways I intend to further enhance my connection to God: digging deeper into His Word, praising Him daily, and keep memorizing Scripture (and keep reviewing the ones I have memorized). In the conclusion of the Bible study one of the questions was, “Take some time now to reflect on your understanding and experience of intimacy as it has developed through this study. How will the insights you have gained in this study help you grow in your intimacy with God?” I thought and prayed about my response, and several things kept coming up. This is what I wrote:

This study has renewed my fervor for God . . . through Scripture memory and renewed commitment to praise. [These two things] keep me focused on God and His awesome, unique impact on this world and in my life. Only He is worthy of my dedication and devotion. Only He is caring for me in ways I cannot even imagine. Only He is worthy of praise. He has drawn me into intimacy with Him in new ways and restored my commitments to study His Word and proclaim Him whenever possible. He is opening my eyes to new (and/or previously existing) opportunities to love on and share with people who do not yet know Him. It flows out of intimacy with Him.

One of the psalms looked at this week was Psalm 5. I really like vs. 3 in the NIV:

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;

            in the morning I lay my requests before you

            and wait in expectation.

In the NASB the last line says, “In the morning I will order my prayer to Thee and eagerly watch.” Waiting in expectation and eagerly watching result when we trust totally in God to answer our prayers and bring about in our lives exactly what we need in order to live joyous and free lives. It reminds me of the prophetess and prophet in the temple on the day Jesus was presented there. They were eagerly watching and waiting for the Messiah’s coming. I should also be eagerly and expectantly looking for the return of Christ, however, I should also be eagerly looking and noticing God’s works in my current life. Maintaining intimacy with God motivates me to be looking with expectancy and hope. I’ve been able to see His hand in my life more readily since beginning this study. I want that to continue so I will continue to study His Word, praise Him daily, and memorize (treasure) His Word in my heart by memorization.

Ongoing Intimacy With God

As I studied more about intimacy with God, I was directed to several Psalms that showed the psalmists being able to rest and be content in life as a result of their conscious contact with God. There were two passages that I found interesting and brought me some peace as I continue dealing with some issues in my life. I can’t decide which one to memorize. Maybe writing about them here, will help me choose.

Let’s start by looking at Psalm 16:11. I looked at it in several versions: New American Standard Bible, New International Version, Amplified Version, and the Message. Each version put it a little differently (you can look them up for yourself using Bible Gateway (https://www.biblegateway.com). I’m focusing my attention on the NIV version:

You have made known to me the path of life;

            You will fill me with joy in your presence,

            With eternal pleasures at your right hand.

This verse states some truths about God and my life and it promises I will be filled with joy as long as I stay in God’s presence. Keeping in God’s presence is the key. How do we do that as we go through our days on earth? To answer that question I looked again at the NASB’s translation of that verse:

Thou wilt make known to me the path of life;

In Thy presence is fullness of joy;

In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.

The second line tells us where the joy comes from (as did the NIV in a different way), but to me, the use of “Thy” reminds me whose presence I’m supposed to be in: God’s. The previous parts of this study have been instructing me how to stay in His presence: seeking His face earnestly, recognizing His righteousness, believing He is trustworthy, seeking His protection, knowing and remembering that God is responsive to our prayers, having a healthy reverence for God, being truthful with Him, and loving and studying God’s Word. It sounds like a big order when put all together like this, but I think it can be summed up with a verse from the New Testament:

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.” It also kind of goes along with the middle part of Psalm 63:1: “I shall seek Thee earnestly; my soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh yearns for Thee.” Seek God first and foremost in our lives will draw us closer to Him and we will be able to live in contentedness and peace.

That brings me to the other passage I’m considering memorizing. Psalm 131:2 says,

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;

Like a weaned child rests against his mother,

My soul is like a weaned child within me.

David uses a word picture to say he’s able to be content and peaceful after experiencing trouble because of his close relationship with the Lord. In my Ryrie Study Bible, Ryrie wrote the following note: “As a child who has successfully gone through the troublesome process of weaning and found contentment, so David had been delivered from all self-seeking and had found contentment in the Lord.” I want to have that composed and quiet mind and spirit because I’m constantly in the presence of our powerful, loving Father. I too want to feel contentment knowing that God’s got everything under control.

So which verse would you memorize: Psalm 16:11 or Psalm 131:2? I will meditate on both this week and hopefully make a decision soon.

Love God's Word

I don’t often have the emotions of intimacy with God that some people have, although working through this study (Intimacy With God), I feel more of those emotions than I have in a long time. Yet, I do have an intimacy with God through His Word in ways that many other Christians do not. It’s still an intimacy with God, but it’s based on my love for His laws and principles.

Psalm 119 is all about that kind of intimacy. It’s 176 verses about the psalmist’s love for God’s judgments, statutes, ordinances, testimonies, precepts, laws, commandments, words, and the word of truth. In reading and studying it, I have regained a sense of how the Scriptures should be my central focus in my Christian walk. The feelings are great, however, for me, I depend on the Scriptures to tell me why I should feel close to God. There in lies the source of all our love and reasons to love, primarily because of God’s great, enduring, love for us. He gave us His Word so we could know Him. I intend to take full advantage of this amazing source for knowing God better.

I would suggest setting aside 20 minutes, give or take, to read through and think about what Psalm 119 says about the psalmist’s love for God’s instructions. The Word can have the same purposes in our lives as it did for the Israelites (in specific, the psalmist who wrote Psalm 119). There are basically three functions of the Word, and we need all three to be working in our lives to truly be intimate with God. The Word, 1. Keeps us from sin, 2. Guides and directs us, and 3. Gives us hope and comfort. These functions pretty much cover every area of my life.

There were so many choices of verses in Psalm 119 to memorize so they are always with me. I chose one: Psalm 119:18. “Open my eyes that I may behold Wonderful things from Thy law.” That’s my prayer, not just when I’m about to intentionally dive into the Word, but throughout the day. As I go about my life, I want to know the Scriptures well enough that the Holy Spirit can bring it to mind in each moment of need. There’s a verse for every situation in our lives. If only I could memorize verses for every joy, struggle, and question that arises in my life today. I’m working on it, but I have a long way to go.

A verse in Deuteronomy about God’s Word also stood out to me. Deuteronomy 30:14 says, “But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may observe [see and obey] it.” This verse encourages me to keep memorizing; not only does it give me what to say and feel, it draws me closer to God.

My application for the study of Psalm 119 was to write my own stanza in the style of Psalm 119 (the first word in each stanza begins with the same letter as I describe what the Word means to me):

My heart longs for Thy Word;

            Show me the answers to life’s questions

May Thou show me the truths

            Only found in Thy Scriptures.

Maladies and struggles overtake me,

            Yet I hold onto Thy teachings.

Memory fails me,

            Except for Thy Words you bring to my mind.

Musings on my failures and faults,

            Bring me back to Thy Scriptures.

May Thee restore my mind and soul,

            As I search Thy Holy Words.

May Thy principles always be my words,

            That others may come to know Thee.

Mindless rhetoric and the world’s views,

            Are challenged by Thy testimonies.

Can you write a “psalm” that expresses your heart for God’s Word? Give it a try!

Being Honest With God

Psalm 62:8

“Trust in Him at all times, O people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us. [Selah.”

I admit it. I struggle to be totally honest with God. There are just some things I’m afraid to share with Him. I don’t think He is a vengeful God who is looking for ways to punish me, but something keeps me from sharing my deepest hurts and fears with Him. When I ask myself, “What am I afraid of?” one thought comes to mind: I’m afraid of what He might ask me to do to deal with the hurt or hang up I’m afraid to share.

However, there are three major faults in this thinking. 1. God already knows my deepest thoughts and feelings and doesn’t reject me. 2. God wants me to be completely honest with Him (pour out my heart). 3. Failure to share with God usually leads to denial of the thoughts or feelings and, as a result, I miss out on God’s peace.

In my past, I would keep a thorough and fearless journal. Most of the time, when writing in the journal, I was able to be fully honest with God. I didn’t have to share with anyone what was written in the journal, but I was able to put words on the thoughts and feelings so God could help me deal with them. Occasionally, writing everything out showed me that what I thought were BIG deals and vitally important to live life, were not as devastating as I thought. Thus I would be able to share these issues with someone who could help me sort things out. Usually, the greatest stressors in my thoughts were things that were just not true; they were lies I believed. Writing them out often showed me where my thinking was quite possibly wrong, and then I could give voice to them and someone would be able to direct me in the way of truth – mostly God’s truth versus Satan’s lies. If I keep those things secret, I cannot break free from the lies and my life will continue to be unhealthy and depressing.

My application for this week is to write in a journal every day for 5 minutes (which often leads to many minutes!) I can then pray to God being open and honest with Him, pouring out my heart and soul to Him. Then I will be able to fully understand God as my refuge and my fortress (Psalm 91:1-2).

Reverence For God

In drawing closer to God and improving our intimacy with God, we need to maintain our respect for God. Yes, He is a loving, caring, saving God, but He is also the Almighty, Most High, All Powerful, Creator, Judging God. I think we sometimes forget that God deserves and demands our worship and our humble respect for everything He is. I think we also need to be careful that we, in our dealings with other people, only portray God as loving and caring, leaving out the truth of His pending judgment. The outcome of the judgment is dire for those who are not in a relationship with Jesus Christ. We must not lose sight of that.

Many of the Psalms make a connection between God’s holy character and a life dedicated to fearing (revering) God. As I thought about that I decided that if God did not have a holy character that requires my worship, what would we have to live upright lives for? If God is not holy and powerful, He might just as well be an idol or a statue that does not have the power and righteousness worthy of our respect. Unlike false gods, our God can and does act in this world. Psalm 115:4-8 talks about what “their” gods are like:

Their idols are silver and gold,

The work of man’s hands.

The have mouths, but they cannot speak;

They have eyes, but they cannot see;

They have ears, but they cannot hear;

They have noses, but they cannot smell;

They have hands, but they cannot feel;

They have fee, but they cannot walk;

They cannot make a sound with their throat.

Those who make them will become like them,

Everyone who trust in them.

The Almighty God of the Bible can do all those things and He does every moment of every day and night. He is an active God. We need to live in awe of such a God.

Keeping in mind that when the Bible says, “fear the Lord,” it’s not telling us to be afraid of the Lord. In fact, in the other lessons on developing intimacy with God, I learned that it’s quite the opposite. We should draw near for He is an approachable God, who wants to be in relationship with us. Fearing the Lord brings us into a respectful attitude as we humbly bow down before this wonderful God. There are many benefits to learning to live a life that fears God. Psalm 111:10 gives us a couple of benefits:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;

His praise endures forever.

Who doesn’t want wisdom and understanding? Psalm 115:11-13 also talks about the need to fear God and the benefits that result from doing so:

You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord;

He is their help and their shield.

The Lord has been mindful of us; He will bless us;

He will bless the house of Israel;

He will bless the house of Aaron.

He will bless those who fear the Lord,

The small together with the great.

He is a help and a shield to those who fear Him. He will bless us without partiality. All we have to do is have a healthy respect and awe of all that He is. Whether we fear Him or not, He is powerful and judging. How much better it is to fear Him and worship Him, and get the resultant benefits and relationship with the ultimate Higher Power!

God Is Responsive

God is responsive. In other words, He’s paying attention to us and answering our prayers – even those we didn’t know to pray. I’ve memorized and studied verses that tell us that God answers prayer, but I think I saw that as a child asking Santa for things on their wish list. I didn’t take into account that God knows better than I do what I really need. He responds to the situations in our lives, not just the things I remember to pray about. Of course, we have to recognize that sometimes His answer are “No,” or “Wait.” However, we can be certain that He is at work giving us whatever we need to live for Him.

The Psalmists recorded their experiences with God. They cried out, they trusted, they sought, and they feared (revered) God, and God responded in many ways:

·      Answered

·      Delivered

·      Saved

·      Rescued

·      Redeems

·      Satisfied

·      Lead

·      Had compassion and grace

·      Raised up

·      Gave food

Many passages of Scripture tell us why God takes care of us so well. It’s all because of His lovingkindness. Another word for lovingkindness is mercy. It’s hard to imagine the depth and breadth of God’s love for us. I’m not sure any of us can fathom the totality of God’s loving character. His love is what makes all things possible for us, from being rescued to eternal life. However, the Psalmists also recorded some areas we have responsibility for so God’s answers will be seen and recognized. In Psalm 34:11-14 explains some of the responsibilities:

Come, you children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Who is the man who desires life,

And love length of days that he may see good?

Keep your tongue from evil,

And your lips from speaking deceit.

Depart from evil, and do good;

Seek peace, and pursue it.

So, we are to keep our tongues from evil and lips from deceit. We are to depart from evil and do good. We are to seek peace, and pursue it. In other words, be righteous before God. Without God’s love and power we are unable to do those things, and we have to do these things to see God’s answers to our prayers, which include the ability to avoid evil and deceit, the ability to do good, and the ability to seek and pursue peace. Yet God promises He will make it possible for us to see His answers to our prayers.

Psalm 107 describes several situations His followers found themselves in and the specific ways He helped them in those situations. The Psalmist gives four vignettes each containing a problem, a prayer, a provision, and praises. It is interesting reading. I chose to memorize part of one of these situations, the part that tells me about the prayer and some of the provision (demonstrating God’s responsiveness):

Psalm 107:19-20

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;

He saved them out of their distresses.

He sent His word and healed them,

And delivered them from their destructions.

I need only to cry out to the Lord in my troubles for Him to save me. Ultimately, that is what He has already done for those who cried out to Him for salvation. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, as the payment for our sin, and that act gave everyone the chance experience His lovingkindness. All we have to do is ask and seek His righteousness.

God is My Refuge

The Bible tells me, repeatedly, that God is our refuge. That is the theme of Bible study this week, and it is appropriate for me as I am struggling with feeling hopeless, helpless, afraid, and anxious because things in my life are not going the way I want them to. Those are troublesome feelings and possible indicators of an approaching depressive episode. There are just things going on right now for which I have no control leading me to frustration and anxiety.

However, if I turn to God (or if I don’t), the Lord Almighty is my refuge and protector. He’s an ever-present help in times of trouble whether I acknowledge and give praise, or wallow in self-pity. Psalm 46 explains that help, and I especially like verses 1-3:

God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,

And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

Though its waters roar and foam,

Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

Nothing like the catastrophes described above are happening in my area of the world, but the emotional world inside (and in my environment) are in turmoil. It’s a different kind of trouble, but it is still trouble that is infecting my thoughts and feelings. And God will help. As a matter of fact, He is already helping!

I do have some responsibilities if I want to see, recognize, and acknowledge God as my refuge. Foremost, I need to be looking for God at work. I also need to cry out to Him and reinforce verbally the truths of Scripture. I also need to be willing and able to tell others of the refuge He is providing for me. I can’t do those things if I stay focused on me, and my problems.

The passage I chose to memorize for the topic, “God is My Refuge,” is Psalm 91:1-2, because it clearly says God is my refuge (and fortress), but also reminds me to be calling out to Him and acknowledging that fact.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

My God, in whom I trust!”

A long time ago I memorized Psalm 91:11 and it brought me encouragement.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,

To guard you in all your ways.

However, in adding verses 1-2 to the picture, I now know why He will give His angels charge concerning me: because He is my refuge and fortress and His angels are His soldiers manning the castle I’m unassailably ensconced within.

Today, I will take notice of God’s protection around my thoughts and my feelings and praise Him for the help is has given, is giving, and will give me as I journey through life on this earth. Doing that should keep depressive thoughts and behaviors at bay and even give me glimpses of hope in the midst of this very present trouble.

God's Righteousness

We all have heard about God’s righteousness, and I don’t know about you, but I often equate that with His judgment. Of course, God knows right from wrong and only participates in what is right. Of course, He judges things when they are wrong, including people who are doing wrong according to His edicts and declarations. However, His righteousness also shows up in His mercy.

I am struck with how His mercy takes into account His laws and how we break them. Yet, He provided for the fact that mankind would break His laws and not follow through, not being able to only do righteous things. As a matter of fact, He’s the only one who can perform righteous deeds all the time. He knew that, and He knew He would have to judge, but He loves us and desires us to be in fellowship with Him (see last week’s blog article), so He provided a way to exercise His great and powerful mercy toward us. His mercy is demonstrated by the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus.

Our faith is what determines our righteousness. Scripture gives us the example of Abraham’s faith: “Then he [Abraham] believed in the Lord; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6).” Our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way we are made righteous in God’s eyes.

God’s righteousness is part of His character. He’s always been and always will be righteous. He’s the only one who exists with righteousness without the help of another. We need faith in Jesus to make us righteous. For us, we need both God’s judgment and His mercy to be made righteous. Without judgment there would be no need for mercy, and without mercy there could be no way for us to be righteous before God.

Psalm 103 talks about His judgment and His mercy being opposite sides of the same coin as far as our righteousness goes. I memorized verses 6-8, which indicates these things about God’s righteousness:

The Lord performs righteous deeds,

And judgments for all who are oppressed.

He made know His ways to Moses,

His acts to the sons of Israel.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

I also liked Psalm 71:2:

In Thy righteousness deliver me, and rescue me;

Incline Thine ear to me, and save me.

May you celebrate your deliverance through the recognition of God’s righteousness. May you see that it’s only by His judgment and mercy that true righteousness can be extended to us. May you draw nearer to God because you understand and appreciate His righteousness.

God Desires Us

God created us to be in fellowship with Him! That’s an amazing thought. He longs for us. He wants to be close to us. Sometimes I get caught up in having to obey Him, which He does want, and lose sight of the fact that He loves us immeasurably.

As I studied several Psalms this week, I saw just how much God desires us. Psalm 8 speaks to that in verses 3-6:

When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers,

The moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained;

What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him?

And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?

Yet Thou hast made him a little lower than God,

And dost crown him with glory and majesty!

Thou dost make him to rule over the works of Thy hands;

Thou hast put all things under his feet,

God considers man to be worthy of dominion over His kingdom here on earth. He could have given that responsibility to angels, cherubs, seraphim, or some other created being, but He didn’t. He gave it all to us. He esteemed us worthy. He wanted us to be in communion with Him in such a way that we would know what He would have us do to care for His creation. No one gives that much responsibility to someone He doesn’t love or trust. What I find amazing is that even though mankind has screwed up and allowed the destruction of the planet, He still gives us authority to manage His world. He has high hopes that mankind will eventually get it right – even if it’s not until the Millennial Kingdom when He comes back to make everything right.

Another Psalm passage that spoke to me was Psalm 27:4-10 which talks about how He protects us and hides us from our enemies because He desires to keep us close to Him. I especially like Psalm 27:8 and have memorized it. It tells me that one of the first commands he gave us was to “Seek His face.” That is a primary desire of His – that we seek to be in His presence. The verse says,

When Thou didst say, “Seek My face,” my heart said to Thee,

“Thy face, O Lord, I shall seek.”

He wants us in His presence! So much so, that He told us to seek Him and to be face-to-face with Him.

When I think about His desire for me to be with Him and communicate with Him I am overwhelmed by His love for me. Figuring out exactly how I can do what He asks and seek His face is a challenge, yet in studying the Psalms as I’m doing now, I feel closer to Him and I feel cherished and valued. It gives a new perspective to my place in the world. The God of all power and glory values me. That knowledge can give me peace like I’ve never felt before.

Longing For Intimacy With God

I’ve started a new Bible study this week. My partner, Kris, and I are looking into what it means to have intimacy with God. Basically I want to not only know God, but also to feel God as I go about my daily life. I think people need to study His Word and get to know Him in order to sense His presence in our daily lives. This is a good study for me, because I often know a lot about God, but it doesn’t translate into my heart and thoughts as I go about my life. I long to know Him on a deeper level.

So this week’s study directed me to look at a few Psalms to study the longing people have for true intimacy with God. Psalm 62, Psalm 63, and Psalm 73 communicate some of the ways David and Asaph viewed God and how that translated into longing for Him. Some of the key points made in these Psalms include waiting for God alone, relying on Him alone as our rock and salvation, that He is our stronghold (NASB)/fortress (NIV), that we will never be shaken, that we should seek Him earnestly with thirst and yearning, and that He alone is our help and we should take comfort in the shadow of His wings  (Psalms 62, 63; Psalms of David). Psalm 73, a Psalm of Asaph, also says that He has taken hold of our right hands, and that besides Thee we should desire nothing on earth. Psalm 73 also says, in verse 28, “As for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Thy works.”

I discovered that I want that kind of intimacy with God, an intimacy that confidently rules my heart no matter what trials I may be facing. It’s more than just knowing these things are true. It’s also anticipating God working in my daily life and noticing when He works. David and Asaph were able to do that in the midst of the struggles in their lives. Experiencing God’s presence throughout each day will draw me closer to the God I worship. Another way to look at this intimacy I desire with God is to contemplate how I develop intimacy with other people. Getting to know them – their thoughts, feelings, joys, and sorrows – allows me to feel closer to them. And, my sharing with them those same elements in my life, allows them to draw closer to me. So, getting to know God is the first part of the process. However, I also need to apply Psalm 62:8 and openly share with God what’s going on in my life. “Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us (Emphasis added).” I don’t exercise that much in my life. I feel afraid to let God know everything that’s flooding my thoughts and feelings. How ridiculous is that?! God already knows, but He desires me to share it all with Him instead of keeping it all bottled up and trying to deal with the issues on my own. He desires us to take refuge in Him.

As part of my application for the study of these three Psalms, I decided to memorize Psalm 63:1-3:

O God, Thou art my God; I shall seek Thee earnestly;

My soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh yearns for Thee,

In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Thus I have beheld Thee in the sanctuary,

To see Thy power and Thy glory.

Because Thy lovingkindness is better than life,

My lips will praise Thee.

I also decided to put a reminder on my phone each and every time something is scheduled where I need to connect with God on an intimate and trusting level. Each time I’m going to see a doctor. Each time I’m going to be involved in a conflict. Each time something is going to be physically hard for me to accomplish. Each time I’m feeling lonely or weary. Each time I have the opportunity to share Christ with someone. Each and every occasion in my life where I want to see God work (which is all the time!)

Where do you need to seek Him earnestly in your life? Do you need to remember, even memorize, a specific passage of Scripture to remind you of intimacy with God? It’s more than head knowledge. It’s more than a feeling or emotion. It involves both of these experiences to develop a truth intimate relationship with God.

Turning to God: Acts 20:1-16

Several thoughts came to mind while studying this section of Acts. And, it just so happens, my Quiet Time (based on the Our Daily Bread guide), also addressed some of these same issues. Primarily, the thoughts were about turning to God in times of struggle.

Just like David, Paul had trials and tribulations to deal with. Some of the struggles were from without. In David’s case, these without struggles were often about trying to deal with the death threats and persecution from King Saul. Paul’s struggles were often with the non-believing Jews he encountered on his various missionary journeys; they wanted to kill him and squash his message. I have external conflicts I have to deal with also. And, like David and Paul, when I turn to God and try to do things in a way pleasing to Him, sometimes things get better and sometimes things get worse. We can’t control what other people do or say in response to us no matter how kind and compassionate we tried to be. In those situations, my peace comes from knowing that my salvation is not reliant upon the actions of other people. It’s dependant only upon God’s love for me and my response to Him.

However, both David and Paul had their inside struggles to deal with. These internal struggles seem to be conflict with who they are and who they want to be. Those struggles often lead to what appears to be a depressed state in both of those leaders. I can also relate to those struggles. I like Psalm 30:1-5, one of David’s songs to God, because it talks about how we may feel we are without hope, but then there’s God:

I will extol Thee, O Lord, for Thou hast lifted me up,

And hast not let my enemies rejoice over me.

O Lord my God,

I cried to Thee for help, and Thou didst heal me.

O Lord, Thou hast brought up my soul from Sheol;

Thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

Sing praise to the Lord, you His godly ones,

And give thanks to His holy name.

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for a lifetime;

Weeping may last for the night,

But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

David says he was in a state where he needed help and healing. He felt his soul was in Sheol (Hell) and he was afraid he would go down to the pit if it weren’t for God’s hand on his life. He indicates that weeping was a part of his life. Yet, despite his depression thoughts and feelings, he knew the remedy was to turn to God. He says that God has kept him alive, that God has healed him. And he focuses his attention on God. He sings praise to the Lord and gives thanks to His holy name.

In Acts 20, we find a situation where Paul also may have been feeling alone, afraid, in the pit, and there were times of weeping (Acts 20:19 says, “. . . serving the Lord with all humility and with tears . . .”). It is speculated by several commentators the Paul experienced depression, yet he kept proclaiming the message of Christ in the midst of that. At one point in Acts 20 (verse 13) Paul chooses to go by land while the rest of his team went by ship to a designated place of meeting. There are lots of possible reasons why Paul decided to do this, none of which are explained in the Scriptures. However, I like what Spurgeon had to say about this walk: “A quiet lonely walk of twenty miles suited Paul, it would give him space for prayer and meditation, and help him to shake off some of the depression which had gathered over his mind while he waited in Philippi. Those who labor much for the Lord must have their times of retirement for self-examination, prayer, communion with God, and preparation for future efforts.” Again, I want to say that we don’t know why Paul, in this particular situation, decided to go by land because the Scriptures don’t explain it. However, I like to think Paul was communing with God and praising Him (as David did when he was down).

I see that as the way out of my depressions. When I get my eyes set on Jesus’ sacrifice and God’s great power, I feel loved and cared for. That goes a long way towards lifting the depression, at least for a period of time. Then it’s good for me to keep praising God and giving thanks for His compassion, love and care for me, each day to maintain a spirit of hope. It works for me if I let it. Maybe it can work for you.

Being Odd

Let me start with a bold statement: We are all a bit odd. Everyone has a unique personality, unique physique, and a unique set of emotions. Those things make up who we are as individuals. And isn’t it grand that no two of us are exactly the same! Even twins have something different about each one of them (from experience with a set of identical twins I can tell you that not everything is identical about them). Whether it’s our personality, our physical appearance, or our moods, there is something about us that is like no one else on the earth.

God made us that way. Psalm 139:13 says, “For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb.” And our response to God for His creating us: “I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well.” (verse 14, NASB) I marvel that we are each created by a living and active God. God knows me intimately, because He made me.

He also knows me intimately, because He keeps tabs on me. Verses 1 and 3 talk about that. In part, it says, “O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me . . . Thou dost scrutinize my path and my lying down, And art intimately acquainted with all my ways.” He even knows “when I sit down and when I rise up;” and He “understands my thoughts from afar.” (verse 2) He’s not a god who made me and then just let things happen. He scrutinizes my daily happenings, and I believe He intervenes when I need help or comfort.

It is a comfort to me to know He knows everything there is to know about me. It also challenges me to do the next right thing, whether or not that action seems “odd” to someone else or not. For me, this means actually getting up and getting ready for my day in a timely manner – not because someone is watching me, but because God is watching and knows when I rise up.

I was talking about being odd or different. It’s a good thing because it’s the way God made each of us. God plans to use the ways we are different for specific purposes. I can’t say I understand or know what God is thinking. I don’t know how my oddities will be useful to God and for His glory. I just know that God made me this way and that He did it for a divine purpose. I can rise up each morning and expect Him to do something wondrous. I just have to be looking for His work in and through my life. And, keep letting me do things and be “odd” according to how He made me.

Psalm 136 Thoughts

I have no ideas for a blog article for this week. It’s been a rough week in my household with lots of turmoil and unrest, and that makes me less verbal than I usually am. So as I sit here trying to think of something to write, I’m drawn to the Psalms. Particularly Psalm 136 comes to mind because it reminds me that we should “Give thanks to the Lord . . . His love endures forever.”

I need reminders that His love endures forever. I forget and get caught up in my own worries and concerns. I forget that God is involved in my life in so many ways that are for my benefit. Every verse in Psalm 136 ends with the reminder that “His love endures forever.” So I repeat that phrase to myself when things seem to be out of control. For the few moments I’m repeating it I feel some relief from my worries and concerns.

Verse 4 says, “to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever.” So when I’m doubting that things will work out or be okay, I turn to that verse and recognize that He can and will do great wonders in my life – even if I am having trouble seeing where or how those great wonders are happening, He is at work.

Verse 23 says, “to the One who remembered us in our low estate, His love endures forever.” So no matter how low I go in my emotions, He remembers me and will build me up. No matter how I sin and fail to live up to God’s expectations, He remembers me and will forgive me. He will always recognize me and call me His own child.

Verse 25 says, “and who gives food to every creature. His love endures forever.” This says more to me than just having food on the table. It says He will take care of all my material needs because I am part of His creation. Every creature is guaranteed to have their needs met through His provision. I’ve seen that to be true in my life.

So, today as I’m feeling kind of down and depressed, I recognize that God’s love endures forever and even in my depressed state, He is looking out for my interests. He is able to meet my needs and improve my state in life. Today I praise God for His love that endures forever.

Psalm 22: Distress and Praise

As I read this Psalm today I noticed it was broken into two parts. The first part, verses 1 – 21 recounts various distressful situations David has endured. The second part, verses 22 – 31 lists the reasons and ways David praised God in the midst of his distress.

Some of the distresses as stated in The Message included:

            Verse 1: Dumped miles from no where

            Verse 2: Doubled-up with pain; tossing and turning

            Verse 7: Poked fun at

            Verse 11: God moved away and left David neighbor-less

            Verse 14: Every joint pulled apart

            Verse 16: Thugs gang up on him

            Verse 18: People take all his material possessions

            Verse 21: If God doesn’t show up he’ll be done for

I can identify with some of those things. I can at least figure out that David felt alone, abandoned, and apart from God. I’ve felt that way too. However, my response is not always the same as David’s response was. David turned to looking at all that God has done and will do for him.

David’s response to his troubles starts in verse 22:

            Here’s the story I’ll tell my friends when they come to worship

                        And punctuate it with Hallelujahs.

He goes on to say what he will include in the story in verses 23 – 31, including:

            Verse 23: Shout Hallelujah; He has never let you down

            Verse 24: He’s been there listening

            Verse 26: Down-and-outers sit at God’s table and eat their fill

            Verse 26: Everyone on the hunt for God is praising Him

            Verse 27: People are coming to their senses and running back to God

            Verse 28: God has the last word

            Verse 30 – 31: “Our children and their children will get in on this

                                    as the word is passed along from parent to child.

                        Babies not yet conceived will hear the good news—

                                    that God does what He says.”

I need to model my behavior and responses to my struggles and troubles the same way David did. So today, I shout Hallelujah! Today I recognize that He’s listening. Today I am thankful that He sits me at His table and lets me eat my fill. Today I come to my senses and run back to God. Today I will proclaim all the great things God has done and is doing for me that others will hear the good news and know that God does what He says. Today, no matter how I feel, I turn to God and give Him thanks for all He’s done for me and for all He will do for me in the future.

Psalm 21:13: God's Strength

Last week I talked about Psalm 21:1. This week I’m inspired by the last verse in Psalm 21, verse 13. It says,

“Show your strength, God, so no one can miss it.

            We are out singing the good news!”

Even in my depression I’ve been able to see God’s strength. He has shown it in so many ways in my life that I cannot miss it. As a matter of fact, I firmly believe that apart from God’s strength showing up in my life, I may not even be still alive.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve thought I would put an end to the suffering and pain my depressions have brought me. Yes. I’m talking about suicide. I’ve heard people, generally people who have never experienced the deep depression I have experienced, say that suicide is selfish. What they don’t understand is the severe desperation that a person considering suicide is feeling. It’s not selfishness that drives a person to consider a way out of the pain. It feels like the only way to relieve the agony of the unseen turmoil that is going on in a person’s mind and body.

However, in the darkest moments of my life, there’s been a little bit of hope that comes shining through. I don’t have an explanation for that hope. It didn’t come from inside of me or from my own thoughts and feelings. It has been supernatural. It’s been from God. He has shown me His strength in ways I could not miss. He has said to me, “Don’t give up. Don’t forget there is something more in this life for you.”

It’s not always immediate, but it always comes. The relief from the depression happens. The clouds lift and there’s new light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t pinpoint when that light shows up. It’s usually a gradual process. But without God’s strength, I don’t know if I would have had the patience to wait out the pain and turmoil. I don’t know if I would have seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s because of His strength that I have made it through each episode of severe depression. And, it’s His strength that allows me to sing out the good news of a renewed hope. I will continue to try to sing out the good news even as I struggle through another round of depression. I know if I hold on long enough, His strength will become evident and I will not miss out on the renewal of hope.

Psalm 21: Praising for Strength

Psalm 21:1in The Message says,

“Your strength, God, is the king’s strength. Helped, he’s hollering Hosannas.”

King David recognized where his strength came from. It came from God. And as a result of receiving that strength from God, King David shouted praises to God. What amazes me are all the times King David was feeling alone and rejected by God and he still shouted out praises to God.

That’s kind of where I am these days. I’m feeling alone and rejected. Basically my depression has returned full force like it hasn’t been in over two years. I don’t feel like I have much strength, but what strength I do have comes from God. I don’t feel helped, but what would things be like if God wasn’t a part of the picture? Probably a lot worse. This still feels more like a time of struggle and fighting than a time for rejoicing.

However, like King David, I need to be giving praise to God even in the down times. So consider this my hollering of Hosannas. Consider this short note my shout out that God is great and worthy of praise. He is holy and powerful and I don’t want to imagine what my life would be like without God as a central part of it. I know that when I focus on God, things seem a little better.

I trust that there will be a time in the future when I feel like God’s strength is my strength, as King David did. I will again feel that I am helped and that will fuel my praises to God. But in the meantime, I praise God anyway. Even in the midst of my depression, God is at work, and He is always deserving of my praise and gratitude.

Psalm 20: Help's Coming

Lately I’ve been feeling a little like I’m praying but no one is listening. It seems to me like there’s no answers to my prayers. I think I’m praying according to God’s will – for the salvation of loved ones, peace, hope – but I’m not seeing any of those things happening in my life.

I’ve been told that God sometimes says, “No.” Maybe that is His answer to my prayers. I’ve been told that sometimes God says, “Wait.” Maybe that is His current answer to my prayers. I definitely don’t see the “Yes” answers others see God giving them. But regardless of what answers I see to my prayers Scripture says that He is answering.

Psalm 20:6 in The Message says,

“That clinches it – help’s coming,

            an answer’s on the way,

            everything’s going to work out.”

This tells me that an answer is on the way. So I need to trust that it is, just as David trusted God for answers to his prayers. David was praying for salvation from his enemies and from the armies that were assembled against him. I’m praying for salvation, too, although it’s not from flesh and blood armies. It’s from spiritual forces and evil forces that are out to get me.

Because God is our God, everything is going to work out. He clinches it. He works things out. I need to trust in that and be looking for the answers to prayers. They are probably there and I’m just missing them. I need to look expectantly for the answers and trust that God is at work even if I don’t see the answers right away.

Cleansed From Sin: Psalm 19

How do we get cleansed from sin? It’s not of our own doing. We can ask for forgiveness and be cleansed (1 John 1:9), but we do not do the cleansing. God does. In Psalm 19 in The Message it says near the end:

“Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!

            Keep me from stupid sins,

            from thinking I can take over your work;

Then I can start this day sun-washed,

            Scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.”

God cleans the slate and scrubs clean the grime of our sin. In this passage it identifies sin as anything we do that tries to take over God’s work. Doing that gets in God’s way. We need to get out of God’s way and let Him cleanse us and give us a fresh start to each day. We are only made clean through God’s grace and actions.

Only He can keep me from “stupid sins.” In the New American Standard Bible it says, “presumptuous sins.” The definition of presumptuous is to go beyond what is right or proper or to be excessively forward. To me that says putting ourselves in the position of God or trying to do God’s work would be excessively forward and out of place. That would be going beyond what is right or proper.

So focusing on God and trying to do His will for us can keep us from presumptuous sins. And, “then I can start [each] day . . . scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.” Again the only way I see this happening in our lives is for us to be focused on God and doing things His way. It means keeping a proper perspective and not trying to do God’s work for Him. It means letting Him forgive me and cleanse me. It’s the only way to have a clean slate.

Psalm 18:20-24 Laying Down the Pieces of My Life

I don’t have a lot of time this week for writing my blog but I thought that this passage in Psalm 18 from The Message was worth noting. It says,

“God made my life complete
    when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
    he gave me a fresh start.
Now I’m alert to God’s ways;
    I don’t take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
    I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
    and I’m watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
    when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.”

I found comfort in these words. I like the idea of placing the pieces of my life before God. I don’t think I do that very well. I tend to worry about things and not turn them over to God. In the middle of the night I worry but don’t lay the pieces before God. I don’t sleep well as a result. If I was to lay the pieces before Him, I might sleep better. Maybe I wouldn’t need the sleeping medication prescribed to me.

However, sometimes when I try to lay everything before Him, I end up worrying even more. I don’t know how to lay down the pieces of my life in a way that brings the peace and comfort implied in this passage. I do know it’s hard work and involves work on my part (i.e. getting my act together). I seek the fresh start He can give me, I just don’t know how to obtain it.

That doesn’t mean I will give up trying. I don’t want to take God for granted. Everyday I need to review the ways He works and I try to do that by praising Him on a daily basis. I also try to look at the ways He’s rewriting my life, changing my world. And I try to remember to give Him thanks for those changes. That’s a part of my daily time in His Word and in prayer.