What is it?

Looking through my journals and email, I found out that I was wishing for a lot of good things to happen. I claimed to be “hoping,” but I did not/could not be confident the desired outcome would happen. That is not what hope is about. Hope is more than wishing. [Want to know more? Click here.]

Thursday, March 26, 2015


It’s time to make a new commitment to life. I’m not sure I’m ready to do it but I wrote up a commitment statement I might be able to commit to. The focus this time is on hanging around to see the good life God promised He would give me (based on 2 Peter 1:3, quoted below from the Phillips version of the New Testament).
“He has by his own action given us everything that is necessary for living the truly good life, in allowing us to know the one who has called us to him, through his own glorious goodness.”

If I believe God’s Word, then I have to believe that He’s given me everything I need to live a good life even when my life doesn’t seem so good. With this in mind, I will dismiss thoughts of suicide, reminding myself that it is not an option. To support this commitment, I will write one truthful statement from the Word of God in my journal, or otherwise bring to mind, each time the thoughts occur.

Suicidal thinking includes thoughts about losing weight in inappropriate, unhealthy, life-threatening ways including mismanaging my insulin dosing.

I am making this commitment because God has promised me a good life and I need to wait to see what He will bring about without taking things into my own hands. I am making this commitment to those who love and need me, especially not wanting to hurt or “damage” them.
1.     All my parts (including adult). I will work to break the cycle of abuse from my parents with my inner child as I have done with my physical children.
2.     My immediate family
3.     Best friend
4.     Bible study partner
5.     Recovery friends: Therapist, AA
6.     My siblings
7.     Current and future fans of my book(s)

So what do you think? Is this a doable commitment? I am praying about making this my commitment. Maybe, with God’s help, I can keep this commitment because it seems like the right thing to do.