Dead of Winter Thoughts

It’s February and in Michigan that means it’s the dead of winter. As I look out my office window right now it’s snowing, again. That could be depressing. It often is for me. I struggle with depression periodically throughout the year, but it always seems a little worse during the fall and winter months.

Yet, as I look out my window, I also see the birds hanging out on the various bird feeders in our front yard. Their exuberance in the midst of the snow and cold is fun to watch. And they remind me that there is something good going on around me even while winter rears its ugly head.

For instance, I can be grateful for my husband, who put the birdseed in the feeder right out my office window. That takes some doing as it is a walk through the snow to get to that feeder. He didn’t have to do that, but he did it for me, so I can enjoy watching the birds frolic about.

I can also be grateful for the other people God has placed in my life. Just today while I was at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, a friend commented that I seem to be doing better than some years. He noted that the winter months have often been the time of year I end up in the mental hospital because I just can’t deal with life on life’s terms anymore. I’m not even close to that point this year, but without his comment I might have failed to notice. So far this is my third winter without a hospital visit. That’s something to be grateful for. My depressions are managed and I’m not skipping meds because they make me feel sluggish or despondent. So I’m not manic either.

My therapist thinks I’m holding my own. That’s another person I’m grateful for. She’s able to put my life in perspective a little better than I am. Like the other friend, she reminds me that things have been worse in years past. Things may not be totally joyous and happy, but life is rarely all joy and happiness. I’m handling the struggles and surviving. I’m even doing some things to bring enjoyment into my life on a regular basis.

So I didn’t directly write about God in today’s post. But He’s a big part of why I’m able to survive and endure the hard times in my mood swings. Some of the things I do to put structure into my life are things that bring me closer to God: Daily time in Bible reading, Bible study, Praising Him on a regular basis, and Praying (mostly for my children but also for my husband, friends, and family).

I’m surviving one day at a time. And it won’t be winter forever. Eventually spring will come and there will be new life to celebrate. That’s something to look forward to.