What is it?

Looking through my journals and email, I found out that I was wishing for a lot of good things to happen. I claimed to be “hoping,” but I did not/could not be confident the desired outcome would happen. That is not what hope is about. Hope is more than wishing. [Want to know more? Click here.]

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Recalling What God Has Done, Part 2

As a teenager, I would find myself in dangerous situations. I usually put myself in these dangerous situations. But, God was there. Something prevented me from being severely hurt. I think that something was God. The situations could’ve left me physically hurt, even dead, emotionally hurt, mentally scarred, or spiritually broken. But they didn’t. God was there to protect me from situations I could not even guess. I made decisions to run from God, ignore Him, and deny Him. Yet God did not let me get too far away from Him. He kept bringing people into my life that knew Him and directed me back to Him. He brought people into my life that didn’t know Him, but they accepted me and cared about me. They tried to help me. I was helped in spite of myself by the people God put in my life.
As a young adult, God drew me to Him. He used the Christmas season as a time to bring me into a relationship with Him like I never knew was possible. He used the people on my college dorm floor. He placed each one there to make sure I knew them and would through them, come to know Him. God timed everything out so that I would be in the right places, the right college, the right dorm floor, and the right dorm room next to the people He wanted me to know. In two weeks, this will have happened 34 years ago.
God didn’t stop there. He put the right people in my life to help me learn more about Him and learn how to develop a relationship with Him. Some of those people are still friends today, still challenging me to walk with God. God brought me into contact with Christian groups on campus that helped me grow stronger in my relationship to God. After college, God allowed me to find churches and people in those churches to help me grow. As my relationship with God grew, so did my ability to make decisions based on the Bible and that led to various jobs and people at those jobs.
God was at work to bring me into a relationship with my husband. I did not always make the best decisions when it came to this area of my life, but ultimately God was there, picking up the pieces. I believe God led my husband to love me, in spite of my many flaws. My husband was diligent in his courtship and diligent now in his love for me. And, I’m not always easy to love. But, God knew what I needed and brought my husband to me and keeps him loving me.
I’ve seen the miraculous births of two precious children. My pregnancies were anything but normal as I had to deal with my insulin-dependent diabetes throughout both of those time periods. My children were born and live healthy lives today. My high-risk pregnancies have not left any lasting effects on my children. God was there throughout, providing for as normal pregnancies as possible. It is not unusual for diabetics to have multiple miscarriages. God spared me that experience.
Over the last 15 years, I’ve struggled in many ways that I never would have predicted. Yet in spite of my screwed up thinking at times and the multiple desires to end it all, I’m still here. God did that, too. I know He’s been protecting me from myself and from the attacks of evil in my life. There have been so many times when a thought would come to me that was not from within me, thoughts about the legacy I’d leave for my children or the legacy I’d leave for my friends and family. I did not want to leave this world a quitter.
This is only a sampling of the things God has done in my life. The recalling of God’s work in my life has renewed in me a desire to know Him better. As I get to know Him better, I will see His unconditional love for me and be better able to trust Him to fulfill His promises in my life. As this happens, I will learn to trust Him even in the midst of my struggles. I can choose to serve Him until the end of my days as a result. That’s what I want for my life.

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