Rigorous Honesty

In Alcoholics’ Anonymous (AA), we talk a lot about rigorous honesty and its importance to staying sober. But rigorous honesty can do more for us than keep us from taking a drink. And, it can also be the last defense against the first drink.

When I’m honest in the rest of my life, I am doing what it takes to stay sober. When struggling with some area of my life, like diabetes management, dishonesty makes things worse. My mood, level of irritability, concentration, and inner turmoil will increase when I am not willing to be honest about how things are going. Each little truth shared with a trusted friend or small group lessens the turmoil. Things may still be going wrong. I may still be avoiding doing the right things. I may continue to make bad decisions. However, telling the truth about those things means I’m not lying to myself or to others.

Lies make things worse. Think about it. You do something you shouldn’t. You feel bad. You know you did it and you know it effects your relationship(s) to others in some way. You know you got away with it. You know no one knows, except you. How do you feel? Assuming you have a conscience, you don’t feel good. In my case, my stomach gets upset, I may get a headache, I don’t want to be around people, I lack energy to do anything, and I stop talking with God. Now, add the dishonesty. Now I want to actually, physically hide from other people. Now I might tell a lie to hide behind. Now I may start to believe that what I did was okay.

But deep down I know it isn’t and I feel worse than ever. Enter rigorous honesty. I confess to someone, admit where I’m struggling, and the problem, with its emotions and thoughts, diminish just a little bit. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to change; it just makes change possible. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to suddenly be obedient in every area; it just allows you to have choices. Being honest doesn’t mean you are perfect; it just develops progress and growth.

So today I remember one other AA saying: There is nothing that a drink won’t make worse. I think the same can be said about the lack of rigorous honesty: There is nothing a lie won’t make worse.