I Don't Want To Miss Anything

I was always afraid I would miss something. When I was a little kid and my parents would have guests over in the evening, I’d get sent to my room to go to bed. I’d lay on the floor, with my toes in the bedroom doorway, my body laying out into the hallway. I didn’t want to miss anything that was going on. When my parents would tell me to get in my room, I’d say I was in my room, by my toes. Did I say I just did not want to miss anything?

I had a lot of trouble sleeping when I was a kid for the same reason. What if something important happened when I was asleep? I’d miss it. I would do almost anything to avoid missing out on something. I’m not sure which came first: trouble sleeping or staying awake to not miss anything. Either way, it became a pattern that I still struggle with today.

The key thing is that I know I don’t want to miss anything. Big happenings are going on around here these days. Award ceremonies, graduations, open houses, college orientations, and college registrations. I don’t want to miss any of them. The thing is if I don’t sleep, things will spiral out of control and I will end up missing things. [See “Insomnia”]

The question is am I still willing to do almost anything to avoid missing out? Sometimes I am and sometimes I’m not. Right now I need to be willing to follow the suggestions and instructions given to me by my medical team. If that means taking a prescription sleeping medicine, I guess I have to be willing to do so. There are other medicines, too, like insulin for my diabetes, I have to take to make sure I don’t miss out on the exciting happenings. It is worth it to do these small things to not miss out on the big things. And, I don’t want to miss anything.