What is it?

Looking through my journals and email, I found out that I was wishing for a lot of good things to happen. I claimed to be “hoping,” but I did not/could not be confident the desired outcome would happen. That is not what hope is about. Hope is more than wishing. [Want to know more? Click here.]

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Bridges, Roads, and Ditches


Job interviewing. My son, who is graduating from college this spring, is off to Chicago for three busy days of job and internship interviews. Wow. Where has the time gone! Sending him off for the first day of kindergarten seems so fresh, yet so much has washed under the bridge, over the road, and into the ditch since then.

We’ve been kept safe from the rushing water so many times. Catastrophic illness, pre-mature deaths, severe childhood accidents, loss of financial means, divorces, broken bones, broken hearts, and so many other things have happened to people we know. We observed the mishaps of loved ones, prayed with and for them, and thanked God it wasn’t us. Those things have washed under the bridge, passing us by, not touching us, but close enough for us to see what could’ve been.

Other events have touched us, but not required drastic changes in our lives: the deaths of parents, both of my husbands’ and my father; passing grandparents; physical and mental illness; loss of employability; unexpected symptoms of illness; losing touch with once-close friends; losing cars and the sense of driving safety we took for granted; and having to adjust dreams and goals. These things have washed over us, nudging us in different directions than we wanted, or expected, to go. But, in the end we are still standing on the road setting new goals and looking ahead toward new adventures.

A few things have put us totally into the ditch and we have left part of ourselves there – not all for our detriment, however. Unrealistic goals, unimportant belongings, material desires – everything from “fancy” vehicles to bigger and better houses, one career that was too stressful to maintain mental health, extravagant vacations, and other things and ideals we thought we could not, and would not have to, live without have been abandoned or adjusted. We, as individuals and as a family, have climbed out of the various ditches, looked back at what was gone, and moved on again.

Some of the ditched stuff is still missed, but maybe there will be a time when they can be pulled out, dusted off, sand-blasted to get the rust off if needed, and retrieved for future use. Some we just don’t need and are not part of God’s best for us. Acceptance comes hard sometimes when looking at what’s lost or gone. But, when acceptance is found, peace rushes in behind it. That’s what I really want anyway – peace.

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