Hills and Valleys

Where are my keys? Did I take my medicines this morning? What was I supposed to get at the grocery store? Do I have to make dinner? Do I have to make that phone call to the doctor’s office? Do I have to deal with the insurance company? Can I wait until tomorrow to work on the book? Can I wait until tomorrow to write a blog article? Can I just take a nap? Why am I so distracted? Why do we have to decorate for Christmas? Do I have to wrap presents? Do I have to feel these feelings?

Those are the questions flying around my head recently. I haven’t felt like doing any of those things – except the nap – and I know I have to anyway. There are other things I’m having trouble enjoying that I usually get great pleasure from. Everything is beginning to feel like a chore. Ever been in this place?

For me these questions are warning signs. Bright flashing yellow lights. They are the signs that a valley is approaching in my life. I’ve been enjoying a mountaintop with the beautiful sights and closeness to God. Now, I realize that I’m sliding down the side of the mountain and have some choices to make. I may not be able to prevent the sliding (my bipolar disorder will cause me to make swings in moods – often without my being able to do anything psychologically, physically, emotionally and, even, spiritually to prevent them).

My pastor recently shared from the book of Habakkuk in the Bible. Habakkuk experienced the let downs of feeling distant and alone, separated from God. Habakkuk felt God was letting the whole nation of Israel down. He felt God was letting wickedness to prevail. And he railed at God to do something about it.

Then God says, in verse 5, “Look among the nations! Observe! Be astonished! Wonder! Because I am doing something in your days – You would not believe if you were told.” The point for me is that even in the midst of what seem like terrible times, God is at work. I just can’t see everything He’s doing. I can’t see how He’s going to use the current situation for His glory. I need to rest assured that He is at work carrying out His promises. I also need to be praising Him and thanking Him for what is to come. This is where my hope comes from each and every day.