Boundaries, Part 3

This week I want to look at boundaries not from a perspective of what I can’t do, but as guidelines for what I can do. “I can” statements and commitments look at what is possible. They give me a framework for deciding what behaviors will move me towards a life that thrives, a life of self-actualization, a life worth living,

In survival mode I live as though all those things I can’t do or have to do is all I am. I let the things I can’t do, the mistakes I’ve made, and the distorted thoughts define me. But, I am not the sum of my illnesses. I am so much more. I can move away from the boundaries that tell me what I can’t do and embrace possibilities. In other words, I can determine new boundaries that identify what I can do so I can feel alive and thrive.

In order to move from the familiar SURVIVE state of mind, and stay away, I need to set some different boundaries. I can use “I can” statements to make boundaries defining me as a person with possibilities, as someone who seeks to feel ALIVE and to THRIVE.

In writing the new boundaries in the form of “I can” statements, I want to be careful not to slip into “I must” statements that will leave me totally defeated if I fail to do them. “I can” statements give me options. They empower me to make different choices, choices that lead to further recovery and growth. A few of my “I can” statements are:

I can unconditionally love my husband, children, and friends.

I can grow in my relationship with God through Bible Study.

I can grow in my relationship with God through Prayer.

I can find peace and serenity in trusting God for the details in my life.

I can be a good listener and an encourager.

I can serve others when I have the means to help.

I can use my talents and gifts to serve God giving my life purpose.

I can write letters (email and snail.)

I can write because I am a writer.

I can enjoy substitute teaching and interacting with young adults.

I can live a life of integrity.

I can . . .

And, I can keep adding to this list as I become more able to look at the possibilities. My plan this year is to live as far from the fence, the “I can’t” boundaries, as possible. I will define myself by the things I can do. What can you do to increase your prospect of thriving, of living a life worth living in 2011?