Psalm 62:8
“Trust in
Him at all times, O people;
Pour out
your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. [Selah.”
I admit it. I struggle to be totally honest with God. There
are just some things I’m afraid to share with Him. I don’t think He is a
vengeful God who is looking for ways to punish me, but something keeps me from
sharing my deepest hurts and fears with Him. When I ask myself, “What am I
afraid of?” one thought comes to mind: I’m afraid of what He might ask me to do
to deal with the hurt or hang up I’m afraid to share.
However, there are three major faults in this thinking. 1.
God already knows my deepest thoughts and feelings and doesn’t reject me. 2.
God wants me to be completely honest with Him (pour out my heart). 3. Failure
to share with God usually leads to denial of the thoughts or feelings and, as a
result, I miss out on God’s peace.
In my past, I would keep a thorough and fearless journal.
Most of the time, when writing in the journal, I was able to be fully honest with
God. I didn’t have to share with anyone what was written in the journal, but I
was able to put words on the thoughts and feelings so God could help me deal
with them. Occasionally, writing everything out showed me that what I thought
were BIG deals and vitally important to live life, were not as devastating as I
thought. Thus I would be able to share these issues with someone who could help
me sort things out. Usually, the greatest stressors in my thoughts were things
that were just not true; they were lies I believed. Writing them out often
showed me where my thinking was quite possibly wrong, and then I could give
voice to them and someone would be able to direct me in the way of truth –
mostly God’s truth versus Satan’s lies. If I keep those things secret, I cannot
break free from the lies and my life will continue to be unhealthy and
depressing.
My application for this week is to write in a journal every
day for 5 minutes (which often leads to many minutes!) I can then pray to God
being open and honest with Him, pouring out my heart and soul to Him. Then I
will be able to fully understand God as my refuge and my fortress (Psalm
91:1-2).
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