Inmost Being

In my Quiet Times I’ve been reading a promise a day off some download from the Internet I got. I’ve found them refreshing and encouraging for the most part. And this week I read one that had me asking some questions and doing some research.

The promise for May 4^th said, “I gently formed you in your mother’s womb.”

It was based on a verse very familiar to me, and probably to you. Psalm 139:13 in the NIV says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” The Amplified version of the Bible says it in a very similar way: “For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

What does my inmost being or inward parts consist of? That is the question I asked myself as I meditated on this verse. First I looked up the definition of “inmost.” The definition that spoke to me the most said inmost meant “deepest within; farthest from the outside.” The example sentence they gave lent itself to further clarification for me: “She revealed her inmost thoughts and feelings.”

I think that’s what are inmost being is – our thoughts and feelings. The very things which cannot be seen from the outside. The hidden parts of our personalities and beliefs. The things that only those closest to us can see; and not all of those people can see the inmost being, either. And Psalm 139:13 tells us that God formed those parts of all that we are.

So, God created my inmost thoughts and feelings. The thoughts and feelings that are the farthest from the outside, from the surface. Often times, these inmost parts of me can only be revealed by me, should I choose to reveal them to someone. They are not seen by others unless I want them to be seen.

There are a few people in my life that can look at me and see that there’s something wrong with my inmost being. Those people are very few. They know what signs to look for in my behaviors. But they’ve had to learn that over time and because I have let them in to my inmost thoughts and feelings. Even these people usually do not know specifically what the unrest in my inmost being is; they just know there’s something going on and are not privy to that information unless I choose to tell them.

However, where other people cannot see and know my inmost being, there is One who can – the One who created that part of me. God created the inmost thoughts, feelings, beliefs and dispositions of me. So, He understands and sees and knows what signs there are that mean my inmost being is in a state of unrest. He created me this way. That could make me angry (He gave me, by His design, my illnesses: bipolar, diabetes, and alcoholism, etc.) However if I remember that He's the most loving and caring being in the world, then He didn't do those things in me to make me miserable, but to give me some kind of purpose and hope (Jeremiah 29:11). So, today I can accept and praise God for His creation of me, just as I am. There's a purpose in it even if I can't see what it might be.