Sometimes it seems like the people in the Bible had a huge
amount of faith and trust in God. When I read the Psalms, I see a lot of
praising God and trusting God. I don’t always feel or think that I can trust
God and get discouraged by the faith other people show in God. My faith wavers
and dips. Sometimes I have more faith and sometimes I have less.
When I think of King David, I think of a man whose heart was
completely for God. In 1 Samuel 16 it talks about how God picked David because
God looks at the heart and found David’s heart to be devoted to Him. Does that
mean that David never doubted God? If that was the case then relating to David
would be very difficult, because I am full of doubts.
In Psalm 13, David begins with a statement that tells me
that he did in fact doubt that God would come through for him:
“Long
enough, God –
you’ve
ignored me long enough.
I’ve looked
at the back of your head
long
enough. Long enough
I’ve carried
this ton of trouble,
lived
with a stomach full of pain.
Long enough
my arrogant enemies
have
looked down their noses at me.” [Verses 1 – 2, The Message]
David questioned God’s care for him. He doubts that God will
take care of him and protect him from the arrogant enemies. He complains of
feeling alone and ignored. He complains of having a ton of trouble. He
complains of living with pain in his stomach, possibly from nerves, anxiety
and/or hunger. I can relate to this David. I’ve felt alone and ignored and like
there’s a ton of trouble just waiting for me. I’ve struggled with anxiety that
has left me with pain in my stomach. I can relate to the David in this Psalm.
The question that comes to me is this: Does God really
ignore us? I don’t think so. I think David thought God was ignoring him but God
was at work somehow. David comes around to acknowledging God’s work in his life
by the end of this Psalm. David keeps talking to God and eventually comes to a
point of trusting God. Verses 5 – 6 say,
“I’ve thrown
myself headlong into your arms –
I’m
celebrating your rescue.
I’m singing
at the top of my lungs,
I’m
so full of answered prayers.”
I think that many of my prayers are like David’s. I start
off complaining and worried but as I focus on Who God is and what He’s done for
me, I come around and end up praising Him. Eventually, I can end up throwing
myself into God’s arms and celebrating the way He rescues me from the trouble I
face. Sometimes it doesn’t happen right away. It may take a few days or a few
months or even a few years, but eventually I see God’s answered prayer. And if
there are things that I pray about and never see the answered prayer, it doesn’t
mean God wasn’t at work. It may mean that in God’s plan there was something
better going on than I could see.
I’ve seen enough of God’s rescues to know He’s at work. I
can trust Him for the things I cannot see. I can trust Him not to be ignoring
me, as I might think He is. I just have to remember the things He’s done and
praise Him for the answers I’ve seen. Like David, I can be singing at the top
of my lungs about the answers to prayer I have received and trust Him for the
ones yet to come.