Dispersing the Darkness

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Today, I feel kind of down. Not sure what it is exactly, but I know that it feels like the gloom will never go away.

But, what it feels like and what the truth is are two different things. I know that the darkness I feel is only due to an error in my thinking. God promised us light and in that light, darkness is pushed away. I have to seek out the light and it will come.

I know the darkness does not have to be permanent. Scripture says, “God is light, pure light, there’s not a trace of darkness in Him” (1 John 1:5, from The Message). If there is not darkness in Him, there should be no darkness or down feelings in me because He is in my life. He pushes away darkness – if I let Him. If I choose to dwell in the down feelings, the gloom, then the darkness will persist.

I don’t always know how to dispel the darkness. Prayer helps sometimes. More often just getting busy helps me push them aside. Sometimes talking to another person helps. When all else fails, a good cry is often in order. However, I don’t cry often, maybe not often enough. I’m often afraid that the gloomy feelings will last forever so I don’t want to do anything that might make that seem true. Crying is one of those things that make me feel like the gloom will never lift.

Today, the down feelings are persisting and I’ve already tried praying . . . worked for the few moments I could concentrate. Crying doesn’t seem like the right thing right now . . . there’s nothing specific to cry about. I could call someone on the phone . . . but they will want to know what’s wrong and I can’t think of anything. So, I’m left without an idea about what to do . . . except to get busy doing something which is why I’m writing this blog article. Although writing this article hasn’t necessarily helped reduce the down feelings, it has kept me busy for a few moments. That has lessened the intensity of the feelings.

I know some would say it’s okay to just let myself feel down. I know that it’s okay. I just don’t like it, especially when I can’t figure out why I’m feeling down in the first place. I want to have a reason. I want to be able to pinpoint it and say, “Ah, so I’m afraid of something,” or “Oh, maybe I’m not feeling physically well.” But, I don’t think that is the case today. Today I just feel down.

Maybe a nap will help . . .