Hearing

So I went to an Ears, Nose, and Throat Specialist. I was tired of hearing other people tell me I couldn’t hear them. It was easy to hear them saying I couldn’t hear them, so I didn’t know what the problem was. Actually the problem still exists. My hearing is well within the normal range. The doctor said that technically my hearing is better than his.

The doctor did say that it is possible that I am not hearing as well as I used to. Of course, he avoided saying something like, “As we grow older . . .” First off, the “we” would be totally wrong. He was at least 10 years younger than me. He doesn’t know what growing old is like. I thought better of him for not trying to “identify” with me (especially with the old part of me).

He said I could tell my family, co-workers, and friends that my hearing is fine; their speaking is unclear. I don’t know if the family and friends will believe that or not. There is probably something I need to do. Blaming others does not make me a better listener.

Blaming others or my past does not make it easier to hear – whether it’s my spouse or God. I might as well wear earplugs. If I’m not willing to actively listen, I will miss things. I’ll miss the soft, “I love you” at bedtime. I’ll miss the quiet, still voice of God whispering to my spirit, “I love you.”

I also want to be heard. There is nothing wrong with that. It is something we all need, but many did not (and maybe still do not) have people in their lives willing to truly hear. I can get caught up in that. I can blame others for not truly listening and trying to understand me. But, just as God is actively trying to get me to hear Him, He also always hears me. The obvious: I need to give Him something to hear.

I still need to find ways to hear, listen, and understand what others are saying to me. I now know I do not have a physical reason for not hearing. I have some work ahead of me. However, God does not need help with His hearing or His speaking. He is there.