Academics Is Not All There Is

Last week I wrote about being a mom with high standards and expectations for my kids. I want to clarify: I do not think using belittling language, accepting only perfection, and handing out physical punishments (like withholding bathroom use) are appropriate methods for getting the best out of kids. I also do not think kids should not be involved in extracurricular activities. Sports, drama/theater, music, art, and other clubs (SADD, Student council, Chess, etc.) are constructive outlets and can provide the foundation for a life-long hobby. Sports especially can jumpstart a life of fitness and health. It is nice if one excels in their hobby or sport, but it is not necessary. There is enjoyment in participating and in the social aspects of the activity.

I want my kids to interact with other kids as they pursue similar interests. From the earliest age it is the social interactions that teach cooperation, turn taking, empathy, compassion, teamwork, and even helps in developing a sense of humor.

Other possible social activities can take place outside of school. I like the fact that my children have been involved in our church’s youth group and teen Bible studies. They have served with other youth as “missionaries” on various mission trips (Katrina reconstruction in Alabama, children programs in poor rural areas, assisting the elderly, serving meals at a homeless shelter). Shared spiritual interests and beliefs can develop a sense of community, of belonging, of purpose, and a sense of inner wellbeing. As they see and meet the needs of others, they have gained a greater appreciation for what they have and a sense of compassion for those with fewer opportunities.

Balance. Academics. School related activities. Service projects. Spiritual growth. It’s not as simple as a seesaw because there is more than one fulcrum and each activity has a varying amount of weight (value, priority.) My job is to help my kids learn to balance, giving the right amount attention to each aspect of their lives, while I (and my husband, of course) model ways to navigate a complex, and ever changing, schedule.